Jersey Shore Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes Premiere
I'm so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates.
Like a monkey has to go to the f*ckin' jungle, I belong at the Jersey Shore.
(to Deena) Pauly, adorable, you’re gonna love him.. you’ll probably have sex with him. Just sayin’.
I can smell the fake tans and the hair gel already.
Party’s HERE! Times 2!
(on Ron & Sam) I hope they get a f*ckin' incurable disease living up there.
When Ron gets drunk, he’s single.
I can't wait to blow the f*ckin' speakers off this house... and don't tell anyone I'm drunk.
You’ve never heard of a shower caddy, dawg?!
OH YEAH! OH YEAH! [ Snooki and Deena on the bed ]
What’s her name? Diana? Deena? She looks exactly like Snooki, like 4 feet tall, short little meatball, exactly like Snooki.
When I see everyone drinking with me it's like Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
Snooki walks in the door with this Gremlin look-a-like & she says she's the new roommate.
I have Vinny in the house now, maybe I don’t need the vibrator, we’ll see…
Burgers for the boys!
B*TCH, I’M HERE, I KNOW EVERY PART OF JERSEY .. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE F*CK YOU’RE FROM..
If Deena was a holiday, she’d definitely be Thanksgiving.. ‘cause she’s got a lot to give and she’s down for a lot-a-stuffin’.
Cowboy hat is probably another term for Deena’s cooka.
(on Deena) A walking holiday? What does that mean? Are you gonna give out candy? Like I don't get it.
(to Vinny) Stick [your penis] in one of the jet holes and go to bed.
The answer is.. day one, I had to pull the eject button.
I tried to be nice to [Sammi]. I hope she rots in hell. I will f*ckin' knock her out.
(to Deena) You are the Blast From The Past.. wait, what is it? The Blast in a Cup? I am putting you up for Rookie of the Year Award!
I’d rather have f*ckin’ Angelina back!
Deena kinda reminded me of like a dirty Chihuahua, just barking, and like you kinda just wanna smack it to the side.
Listen b*tch, you don't f*ckin' know me, you're in my f*ckin' house...
Even though we're tiny b*tches, I don't give a sh*t.. I will f*ckin' attack you like a squirrel monkey.
Sam, you are SUCH a b*tch.. you are f*ckin’ the biggest b*tch I’ve ever met in my entire life. You are the biggest f*ckin’ b*tch. I don’t understand how you even have friends.
Support Jersey Shore Quotes with a small image badge. If you like or use our quotes, copy & paste the code below into your website to show some love! Or just use a Jersey Shore Quotes text link - Thanks!