Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 1 Quotes
Can’t stand this weather, ya can’t get tanned in this weather, ya can’t creep in this weather, you can’t do anything… girls don’t come out in this weather, they stay in the house.
How many balls do you want? 
I want two.. in my face.
I really don’t want to cheat, like seriously, I don’t want to.. but if you’re gonna hand me a bottle of friggin’ SoCo, something just comes over me, like I just go crazy.
I don’t go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning.. because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.
This weather is disgusting & I cannot wait to be lying down on a beach with a friggin’ margarita in my hand & my roommates by my side.
I feel like I’m gonna be like a tornado. I’m just gonna go from place to place like destroying it.
I’m gonna have a good time & get creepy & get weird.
My uncles want me to just come here & bang everything, but I kinda want better quality girls.
Whether [Angelina] comes or not makes no difference to me, as long as she doesn’t cockblock like she did in Jersey.
Now I get a chance to show everybody the real Angelina, not like, ya know, only the b*tchy side.
I was only in the house for a short amount of time & the girls are jealous.
“I’m the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island”… with what ass? Pancake ass…
The b*tch of Staten Island is back & ready to f*ckin’ party.
(on fried pickles) This puts pickles on a whole ‘nother level.
Eating fried pickles was a life changing experience.
If I’m there for 60 days & I keep hittin’ it.. 60 different girls, if there’s ever a night I can’t get one, I’ll just double-up the next night.
What the f*ck? Angelina! I thought I saw a ghost.
Who cares? I’m single now, if I hook up with one of youz one night, who gives a f*ck?
(on Angelina) I mean, just because we’re from Staten Island doesn’t mean that we’re gonna get along with each other, I mean, she lacks brains.. so, we don’t get along.
(to Ronnie) Gym, tan, smush, huh?
My bronzer’s leaking off my face.
I’m not gonna let a girl be catty & get away with it & live in my house without, ya know, getting her ass beat.
I feel like a pilgrim from the friggin’ 20’s washing shit right now.
I would legit beat the living shit out of Angelina & Ron at the same time if Ron & Angelina ever hooked up.
I just feel like I don’t know. I know how you feel.
You should know about trashy baby, you’re from Staten Island.
You don’t deserve to be here Angelina & you’re a f*ckin’ white rat & you’re f*ckin’ pale & you’re nasty.
I am tanned; I like being tanned, B*TCH!
That’s when you know Ronnie’s drunk, when he starts to dance.
Ronnie’s at the club, hooking up with Grenades… that is a bigger-ugly-chick & also Landmines.. which is a thin-ugly-chick .. and um, lovin’ life.
His name is Ronnie, but you can probably call him Sloppy Joe.
Your head is so far up her ass, you can see out her f*ckin' mouth.
I’m putting Vaseline on my face, taking my earrings out, putting my hair up & I’m beating the crap out of her.
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