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Season One, Episode Six (s01e06)
G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.
These kids are robots... Gym, Tanning, Laundry... that's how they make the guidos.
(on G.T.L.) I don’t follow those rules at all… I can see if it was Basketball, Pool, Beach.
The kid’s harmless. Vinny knows that I’m pretty much the man of the house and not to push it too far or I’m gonna throw him in my trunk.
(on The Situation's sister) She’s Mike without a six-pack. She looked like Mike with a wig on. I was a little bit freaked out.
When we’re out on the battlefield, I’m like the first strike. It’s sorta like they send me out, first, like the Navy SEALS.
(drunk, to Ronnie) You stumpy bastard.
You’re a stumpy bastard, too. Listen, with your Flinestone big toe, with your doorstop big toe.
I hate guys. I’m turning lesbian. I swear.
(on her would be hook-up) He friggin' jumped out of the car like it was on f*ckin' fire.
It's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women.
See that look in his eye? He’s ready to motorboat!
Ronnie’s in pure creep mode.
(holding her hair extensions) Guy’s are all the same. I put money on it; he brings home a bitch and gets with her tonight, on purpose.
I’ll suck your big toe right now, I don’t give a sh*t.
(to her lighter-flicking friend, Mike) Lick my ass.
There’s one huge grenade launcher, there’s one grenade, and then there’s one cutie.
Someone threw a drink and then all of a sudden it was like WWIII or something.
This one girl starts like charging me like a f*ckin’ hippo.
My face is f*cked-up again.
Go home. You don’t belong here. You don’t even look Italian! - Get the shirt -
Through the scuffle Snooks gets hit in the face, again. Poor girl… she needs to take some karate classes or somethin’. She needs self defense. Somebody’s got to teach her how to fight or duck.
I just fought 2 bitches that I don’t even care about for my roommate that’s a frickin’ retard for bringing them back.
I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn’t want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house.
Don’t bring home any f*ckin’ elephants like that ever again.
There might be some little rugrats here today, too, so keep it G.
She brought like 4 trays of frickin’ ziti, the sauce, ya know, all this food. We got amazing cold cuts, loaves of bread, I’m like ‘oh my god, it’s f*ckin’ Christmas.’
You just f*ckin’ traumatized me.

