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Season One, Episode Six (s01e06)

The Situation QuoteG.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.

Vinny QuoteThese kids are robots... Gym, Tanning, Laundry... that's how they make the guidos.

Vinny Quote(on G.T.L.) I don’t follow those rules at all… I can see if it was Basketball, Pool, Beach.

Mike QuoteThe kid’s harmless. Vinny knows that I’m pretty much the man of the house and not to push it too far or I’m gonna throw him in my trunk.

Vinny Quote(on The Situation's sister) She’s Mike without a six-pack. She looked like Mike with a wig on. I was a little bit freaked out.

The Situation QuoteWhen we’re out on the battlefield, I’m like the first strike. It’s sorta like they send me out, first, like the Navy SEALS.

Sammi Quote(drunk, to Ronnie) You stumpy bastard.

Ronnie QuoteYou’re a stumpy bastard, too. Listen, with your Flinestone big toe, with your doorstop big toe.

Snooki QuoteI hate guys. I’m turning lesbian. I swear.

Snooki Quote(on her would be hook-up) He friggin' jumped out of the car like it was on f*ckin' fire.

Pauly D QuoteIt's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women.

Vinny QuoteSee that look in his eye? He’s ready to motorboat!

Pauly D QuoteRonnie’s in pure creep mode.

Sammi Quote(holding her hair extensions) Guy’s are all the same. I put money on it; he brings home a bitch and gets with her tonight, on purpose.

Ronnie QuoteI’ll suck your big toe right now, I don’t give a sh*t.

Snooki Quote(to her lighter-flicking friend, Mike) Lick my ass.

The Situation quoteThere’s one huge grenade launcher, there’s one grenade, and then there’s one cutie.

Pauly D QuoteSomeone threw a drink and then all of a sudden it was like WWIII or something.

Snooki QuoteThis one girl starts like charging me like a f*ckin’ hippo.

Nicole QuoteMy face is f*cked-up again.

Sammi Sweetheart QuoteGo home. You don’t belong here. You don’t even look Italian! - Get the shirt -

DJ Pauly D QuoteThrough the scuffle Snooks gets hit in the face, again. Poor girl… she needs to take some karate classes or somethin’. She needs self defense. Somebody’s got to teach her how to fight or duck.

Snooki QuoteI just fought 2 bitches that I don’t even care about for my roommate that’s a frickin’ retard for bringing them back.

Mike QuoteI felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn’t want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house.

Nicole QuoteDon’t bring home any f*ckin’ elephants like that ever again.

Vinny QuoteThere might be some little rugrats here today, too, so keep it G.

Nicole QuoteShe brought like 4 trays of frickin’ ziti, the sauce, ya know, all this food. We got amazing cold cuts, loaves of bread, I’m like ‘oh my god, it’s f*ckin’ Christmas.’

Sammi Sam Sweetheart QuoteYou just f*ckin’ traumatized me.


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