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Season One, Episode One (s01e01)
I was born and raised a guido. It's just a lifestyle, it's being Italian, it's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel, everything.
There's no way i'm going to Jersey without my hair gel, can't leave without my gel.
My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guy and live my life.
This is The Situation right here, my abs are so ripped up it's.. we call it The Situation.
You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.
I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.
You're number one mission is to go out and find the hottest guido and take him home.
A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heals, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.
If you're not a guido then you can get the f*ck outta my face.
Guys with the blow-outs and the fake tans, and guys that wear lip-gloss and makeup, those aren't guidos, those are retards.
I am like a praying mantis, after I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.
I have a bad habit of playing little emotional games with men. When they date me it's cool in the beginning, we do our thing in the first month, and then I send them on a rollercoaster ride to hell.
You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to sh*t.
I am the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island baby.
I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I'm hot.
Get ready to party, get out there, get filthy, creepy and weird.
How do you go in a f*cking jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini , that's a little bit more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all, ya know what I mean?
When I woke up I was like what did I do last night? Like what did I do? I fucked up... story of my life.
I mean this situation is gonna be indescribable, you can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into the situation.
