Relationships, relationships, relationships! Jenni’s having trouble in hers, Vinny’s trying to create one with a lesbionest, Deena’s sister and Mike’s brother are in one, and Pauly’s trying to avoid one with his stalker! More GTL and fist pumping on the shore!
Mike “The Situation”: We’re pretty much finding out who the real trouble maker is… and um… it’s Snooki.
Vinny : I’m taking a crap do you want to shower first?
Deena : Yeah, just go poop and then I’ll go to the shower.
Pauly D : Go poop and I’ll clean that s$!t up for you.
Deena : I hate seeing Jeeni sad, you know she’s been going through a rough time because she misses Rodger, and I know she’s breaking down, but at least she got her hair done, so that’s good.
Vinny : I kinda feel like I’m back in Italy, minus the armpit hair (talking about the packed club).
Vinny : I know that Deanna is probably a sure thing, but she’s still like a five or a six, during the weekend you’re looking for like a seven or an eight.
Vinny : This girl Nikki is like a straight up hot a$$ chick.
Deena : That one is a hundred times better than the other one (to Pauly about Vinny’s girl).
Deena : I’m definitely like the best wing woman ever, I’m dancing with this girl, I’m keeping her away from Vinny and the other girl. I feel like I’m an ultimate good time right now.
Snooki : Jenni left the club, I’m drunk right now and I have no idea what’s going on, so I just walk home.
Snooki : The boardwalk is kinda like a piece of cake when your drunk now because it’s nothing like the cobblestones.
Vinny : I’m feminine, I got soft features, you know what I mean? (to Nikki)
Vinny : I mean, I think I’m a good transition for a lesbian girl.
Vinny : She don’t like f#$king guys (about Nikki).
Ronnie: I mean you’re cute, but you’re not that cute (to Vinny).
Vinny : You got someone to f#$k tonight, you’re good (to Vinny).
Vinny : When you take a lesbian back to the straight team, that is like Christopher Columbus discovering America.
Ronnie: I want Deena on my team. She’s a good team player.
Snooki : I don’t feel good. I need a f#$king therapist, and I need AA meetings.
Snooki : Ouch, you hurt my eyeballs. The sun’s to powerful today.
Snooki : In Arkansas, it’s always dark out. So everything’s dark, always.
Snooki : Something’s going on in my stomach, it’s telling me to poop or throw up.
Pauly D : I got to work with two freaking meatballs, lucky I don’t make a sangwitch.
Deena : Whenever me and Nicole work together, we’re always bad news bears.
Deena : Think it’s gonna be meatball problems today.
Pauly D : Any major changes to the store you have to discuss with me bro (to Danny).
Snooki : No wait don’t run I’m gonna throw up.
Deena : I’m like whatever work get real, I’m over you today. Going to have some fun.
Pauly D : Danny: Alright Pauly, I’m gonna go look for those two f#$king dingbats right now (about the meatballs).
Deena : Right now Danny is being such an annoying.
Pauly D : Danny has no control over these meatballs whatsoever.
Pauly D : A brand new stocker, she’s crazy, HELP!
Pauly D : Man, it’s the stalker of all stalkers, I cannot look to my right without this girl being there.
Vinny : She wants to be a stalker, she don’t want to be your girls she like wants to be your stalker.
Deena : We should’ve been strippers.
Vinny : We think that she snuck a GPS system into Pauly’s blowout.
Pauly D : It’s a war out there as it is, but me and Vinny are putting grenades on each other.
Pauly D : Fair to say Vinny won this battle, but he will not win the war.
Mike “The Situation”: Right now I am keeping my friends close and my enemies’ closer.
Snooki : Yea we’re team crazypants.
Snooki : So how do you play? Ronnie: You get it in the hole. Snooki: That’s what she said.
Jenni “JWOWW”: How is there a pretzel in my makeup?
Pauly D : You saw Dina’s vag!n@.
Deena : I don’t know if I’m really pleased with being in Mike’s family, he’s been nice so far but, a leopard never sheds its stripes.
Deena : Till he proves me wrong, I will always be on my toes when it comes to Mike.