Sharp Objects – Season 5 Episode 8

Shark!! Where’s the shark?!?! This week, the roommates decided to take a trip down to the ocean… a few times. First, they all decide to go crabbing and fishing, then Snooki and Deena wanted to break a few laws and get caught in the ocean after dark. On top of that, Mike is actually being a good roommate to Pauly and Vinny? And is Snooki go back to Vinny… again?


Pauly D : I don’t know what’s going on in this guys head right now. You keep it moving, you don’t want to fight with Rodger.

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Ronnie: At Karma, you can either walk out the door or get thrown out the door.


Snooki : I’m really excited, you know, to touch his w!#ner and make out and get it in (about Jionni).


Snooki : Honesty, you know, if Jionni’s sick or whatever, I feel bad but I wanna f#$king get it in with my boyfriend, so why the f#$k are you puking right now, let’s have sex.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: My girl had to poop. I had to wait.


Ronnie: I thought gorillas only ate bananas (to Rodger).


Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: Have you met my friend half-pint (about Ronnie).


Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: Have you met my friend half-pint (about Ronnie).


Ronnie: I feel like if my girlfriend complained as much as she did, I’d probably lose my phone too (to Rodger).


Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: She thought I was gonna call and kiss her ass, it ain’t gonna happen. Alright I gotta go before I get my ass kicked.


Snooki : Jionni’s wasted right now, but I feel like I never see you so lets just f$#king bang it out.


Snooki : A boyfriend’s job is to come over, have sex, and you know, make your girlfriend feel good, and at this point Jionni’s not making me feel good, he’s throwing up and passing out in my bed.


Deena : I mean do you really need talent to fish though? You just throw the thing in the thing.


Deena : Can you imagine though, eight guido’s trying to fish.


Vinny : I already got crabs last night out at Karma.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Got an extra bucket to throw up in (to crab guy).


Pauly D : Yo I’m gonna catch me Sunday dinner.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I caught a guido!


Pauly D : Yo, why can’t I just put Snooki on this hook, catch me a big fish?


Pauly D : Crabs are here!


Jenni “JWOWW”: I don’t even want to say it. Snooki: What? Jenni: I caught crabs.


Mike “The Situation”: Yo this ain’t happening. Guidos ain’t made to fish. I can fish for girls but not f#@king for fish.


Vinny : Mike’s just like, spread-eagle right now in one of his feminine poses.


Deena : I feel like this is like my relationships, not one person wants to grab my bait.


Ronnie: So I let the air out of the boat, arms are flying in the air, there’s meatball sauce everywhere.


Snooki : This boat is sinking and I’ve seen titanic and this is not going to end well.


Sammi “Sweetheart”: Deena is literally trying to get out of three feet of water because there’s sharks in it.


Pauly D : Yo, Snooki’s all through these waters.


Pauly D : You know how you catch a Snooki, pickles!


Mike “The Situation”: He’s working hard in there, his insides are coming out.


Pauly D : She doesn’t talk, but yet stalks.


Pauly D : She’ll work my entire shift at the t-shirt shop just staring at me.


Pauly D : And I’m freaked out because she stares right at me with this like that I can feel burning a hole in my head and it’s messing with my blowout.


Vinny : Oh it stands for Down to Fish (when asked what DTF stands for)


Snooki : I’ll shoot you with a pistol in your f#$king eyeball.


Snooki : Yeah buddy, I know how to work my balls.


Snooki : Even though I lost the bet and I have to wear the bunny suit to Karma, it’s not really a big deal because Lola is like my best friend.


Vinny : I might want to reconsider having sex with you right now. You should just always leave the mask on (to Snooki).


Vinny : Stripper, prostitute, bunny, Lola, is pretty hot tonight, I think.


Deena : Lola is definitely the most popular girl at Karma tonight, I’m a little jealous, I’m gonna have to bring her home tonight for myself.


Mike “The Situation”: I actually am like the hunter and gatherer at the house, when it comes to ladies.


Snooki : I kinda wanna, you know, break a law or two tonight.


Deena : So the only difference between the meatballs and Baywatch right now is the red bathing suits, and David Hasselhoff.


Snooki : Holy buttsack I’m tired.


Snooki : This morning I feel like freaking a$$, like I’m still drunk, but it’s like, you know the drunk where you wanna throw up and you feel disgusting, I’d rather just drink it off.


Snooki : Ronnie looks like s$!t right now and I’m like bro, you’re hung over, we need to go to the bar and fix that.


Ronnie: I just see Snooki’s head floating.


Ronnie: To average people, that’s a mini-bike, to Nicole, that’s like a normal motorcycle.


Pauly D : I got the night shift tonight, it’s me, Situation, and Jenni, so I expect to be doing most of the work.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Pauly, your girl is creeping me out right now. Pauly D: Me too.


Pauly D : This girl is going to kill me, she’s gonna kidnap me, put me in her basement, have me DJ for her, and I’m gonna be MIA, you guys are gonna be looking for me.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Pauly’s stalker officially scares me.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I think the blanket is wrapped around something heavy, it’s either Pauly’s hair, or it’s a chainsaw (about Vanessa).


Pauly D : It’s not Pauly D anymore, it’s gonna be DJ Pauly Dead!


Vinny : If Nicole is breathing and Nicole is conscious, she’s probably talking about sex.


Vinny : I’m on the boardwalk with Nicole wasted right now, and, this is kinda questionable what I’m doing.

Free Vinny: Season 5 Episode 4

New roommates?? Danny’s fed up with the roommates not showing up to work on time and sleeping in the back room (Jenni and Mike anyone?). With Vinny gone, and now Mike disappearing, he’s threatening to hire new employees and put them in the house! But just when things look like they’re turning for the worst, Mike comes back! Wild hookups, birthday parties, strippers, oh yeah, and did we mention VINNY’S BACK!!!!


Deena : Me and you, we have to interview the strippers.

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Deena : We definitely need at least two strippers to pull this party off.


Snooki : We made a cake for Pauly and not Mike… that’s what you get for being a d@#chebag.


Snooki : This is my family and I don’t want anyone coming in the house and f$#king anything up because I will kill you, I don’t care if I’m small, I will kick you.


Snooki : New roommates?


Mike “The Situation”: I’m very sensitive.


Pauly D : Where’s the other meatball?


Snooki : I’m honestly ready to make sales.


Pauly D : Right now I’m working with the meatballs, and I’m expecting them to slack off, but they’re really pulling together and working hard, I don’t know how long it’s gonna last.


Snooki : I’m gonna walk like this now… you don’t mess with me… would you fight me?


Snooki : Pauly, can you teach me how to walk hard, like gangster.


Pauly D : Can’t teach swag you’re just born with it.


Deena : I got it, just walk like you’re not trying to walk hard.


Deena : Meatball power!


Snooki : Meatball power!


Jenni “JWOWW”: Dude, you’re not directing porn (to guy arranging strippers).


Jenni “JWOWW”: Four over the hill and six boobs.


Ronnie: I’m gonna try not to be late to work but the title on my watch already tells me I’m gonna be late to work, after Danny already bitched us out for not working hard.


Mike “The Situation”: Danny: This guy shows up out of uniform and late. Mike: But I still look good though.


Ronnie: We’re gonna go get coffee together he says (about Mike and new girl at the shop).


Jenni “JWOWW”: If I rip down the help wanted sign, there will be no more interviews, and therefore, there will be no more possibilities of getting new roommates.


Jenni “JWOWW”: What’s a good name for Danny since he’s being a d$#che?


Mike “The Situation”: Help wanted, see the old dude. Jenny: They might think it’s you.


Snooki : I’m gonna show off my tat. Don’t mess with me in here Party Lane.


Snooki : Let’s have bunny sex (to Deena).


Snooki : If we need freaking bunny suits to bring life to this house, that’s when we know we have problems.


Ronnie: I asked Pauly, Pauly you drinking tonight, and he’s like I’m probably gonna take it easy… that’s what you think.


Mike “The Situation”: It’s pretty hard to surprise me, you know I’m pretty paranoid.


Pauly D : This is the best cake I’ve had in my life.


Mike “The Situation”: It went from a nightmare to a dream because actually the chicks were cute.


Pauly D : I got cakes, I got strippers, I got my friends, this is the best day of my life.


Mike “The Situation”: I’m having fun with this blonde stripper right now, um so much fun I might even take her home.


Pauly D : And I told this chick, I would like to get in my birthday suit with you, and she’s down.


Mike “The Situation”: I have no idea why this stripper is worrying about socks.


Pauly D : Yeaaa Buddy! Birthday sex, everybody should get laid on their birthday.


Mike “The Situation”: What a nightmare what a night (as stripper is leaving).


Mike “The Situation”: I don’t even remember this stripper’s name. Could’ve been Indeeda, because I need a cigarette, I need some French toast, you know what, I need you to get the hell out of here.


Snooki : The bunny costume is f#$king awesome, just because it looks like a serial killer.


Snooki : I love flowers and their long stems, and that’s like expensive.


Pauly D : So we go downstairs it’s like mad dark, but like ten seconds into the club where the crowd was, bang, I see like these two girls like rolling around on the ground and I’m like oh s#$t, chick fight, then I look over and I’m like holy s#$t it’s Sam!


Ronnie: Sam getting into a fight, that’s some scary s#$t, and I just don’t know what to do right now.


Sammi “Sweetheart”: You don’t yank my newly weave, that I just got.


Sammi “Sweetheart”: I was always to like self defend myself, I will take down the world if I feel like somebody touched me the wrong way.


Deena : We’re just trying to, you know, do sex, and this freaking clock keeps going off.


Mike “The Situation”: There’s a hundred percent chance that Paula’s gonna get a second date.


Snooki : I mean if I was a guy, I would f#$k Paula. Hello, she’s hot.


Pauly D : Yo forget this, let’s go get Vinny. I can’t take it anymore.


Pauly D : Let’s go to his house and get the little b@$tard.


Pauly D : Everybody’s down, everybody’s down, we’re going to get my boyfriend.


Snooki : We’re going to Staten Island and kidnapping you’re a$$ b#$ch!


Pauly D : We’re going to get my boy back… today.


Pauly D : Today’s GTGVB, gym, tan, get Vinny back.


Deena : This like blows d#$k for skittles right now.


Sammi “Sweetheart”: We barge into Vinny’s house like we are a swat team.


Sammi “Sweetheart”: I hope Vinny’s like home right now, because this would be bad if he wasn’t home and we’re just like roaming through his house.


Ronnie: I have no idea what Vinny’s tattoo means, it looks cool, no f#$king idea what it means.


Pauly D : He’s got something on his chest, that’s a lot of balls.


Vinny : I’m trying to get laid tonight!


Jenni “JWOWW”: He has a white a$$, tan you’re a$$, oh my god.


Snooki : I think I saw a ball.