One Meatball Stands Alone – Season 5 Episode 10

Mike told Jionni… and… nothing. Jionni is very trusting of his now soon-to-be wife. Although Jionni brushed it off, Snooki didn’t! She exploded and a full on food fight erupted. Could it be guilty anger?? Mike isn’t Snooki’s only relationship on the rocks. Deena seems to have been pushed to the side now that Jionni is in the picture and Deena is starting to feel the pain of rejection. Oh yeah, and how could we forget, while most of the roommates went camping, Pauly and Vinny stayed behind.. and FLIPPED THE HOUSE INSIDE OUT!!


Mike “The Situation”: Another man tells you that your girl cheated on you, and you don’t say nothing at all.


Jionni: Did I rise? Snooki: Did you? (feeling Jionni)


Ronnie: It’s like, how you doing, Jionni, this morning? Bacon, egg, and cheese? Your girl blew me… ok awesome. (about Mike)


Snooki : Actually no because I want you to go f#$king die and rot in a hole. Mike: That’s not very nice Nicole.


Mike “The Situation”: Don’t throw those pickles, they’re fresh. (to Snooki)


Pauly D : In Jionni’s head right now, he won’t say this because he’s a pu$$y, but, ‘I don’t give a $h!t who she bangs I’m banging everybody on my side anyway’.


Mike “The Situation”: They’re meant to be, he took it on the chin just like she did.


Snooki : Me and Jionni are getting married I feel, when he proposes. And I don’t know when that is but he better do it within the future.


Snooki : Ok it’s on like Donkey Kong b!$ch.


Vinny : The food fight is not fun anymore, it is personal.


Pauly D : Watch my freshies, watch my freshies (as he lays on his shoes).


Mike “The Situation”: Listen, I can’t hear you your mouth is full of s$!t kinda like another time.


Vinny : All the sudden my name gets brought into the conversation… Like what th f#$k did we do?


Snooki : I feel like I still smell like ketchup.


Snooki : A bonjo. Deena: Yeah like a banjo. Snooki: A bango.


Pauly D : Sometimes you gotta put sleeping aside bro, get your GTL on.


Vinny : Deena, sit down here you little b!$ch.


Vinny : That’s right, you ask him, then he asks me, then I tell you.


Pauly D : YOU KNOW WHAT, DATE THIS F#@KING KID! (to Deena)


Pauly D : Busted, big time, you’re dead (when Jenni’s on the phone with Joey).


Pauly D : My man Vinny um felt hungry, and wanted a big snack. Because he wanted a little bit of a thicker chick I guess. I wanted to back up my man, so I brought home two chicks just in case.


Vinny : I choose to stick with the thick girl over the cute girl that Pauly brings home because hot girls are boring a lot of the times. They sit there, ‘I’m hot I don’t have to do anything’, I want some variety in my diet.


Pauly D : I’m not into the whole, sleeping outside, no bathroom, no mirror, can’t do my blowout.


Pauly D : Me and Vinny just wanted the house to ourselves, because we’re gonna prank the s@#t outta them.


Ronnie: You got some uh, camping tents?


Mike “The Situation”: It takes a lot to pitch my tent.


Ronnie: Mike’s tent is immaculate, I can’t believe he has the brain span to actually build a good tent.


Ronnie: I’m from the Bronx, ok. The closest thing I see to people camping out side are homeless people.


Pauly D : This kiddy pool is no joke, but, team work makes the dream work.


Pauly D : Not bad for a DJ and a couple of t-shirt pressers.


Deena : Mike put down the freaking fire. He’s like one of those people, a hermaphrodite or whatever it is.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Are you in your paranoid state Mike?


Mike “The Situation”: I keep hearing noises. Jenni: Because we’re in the woods. Mike: That’s true.


Mike “The Situation”: There is no gym, there is no tanning salon, and you can’t do your laundry (about camping).


Pauly D : We changed the whole house inside out. We put the inside outside, the outside inside, the inside outside, the outside inside, so now our inside deck is now our outside deck and our outside deck is now our inside deck . Basically, we pranked the whole house. I told them not to go camping.


Vinny : This is where warriors are made of right here.

Is Snooki Really Engaged?

She still hasn’t come out publicly to admit it, but there is a pretty big rock on a certain finger indicating that the question has been popped. Snooki has had a busy couple of weeks. Rumors that she is pregnant have been reported, and now she’s engaged? Ah, the little guidettes grow up so fast now-a-days! Watch out for the bling!

 

 

Source: Yahoo TV

One Man Down: Season 5 Episode 2

Another episode, more drama. Pauly loses his chain, Jionni gets mad at Snooki’s drinking, and Vinny leaves Seaside… wait what?!?! Vinny is gone?? That’s right, it looks like Vinny needs time away to deal with some of the internal issues he is going through. The house just won’t be the same without him…


Vinny : Bro I can’t f@#king function in this environment… I want to go home.

[adsense336x280]


Vinny : I’m burnt out, I’m pushing through but the car can only get so far on fumes.


Mike “The Situation”: I had met Paula the first summer in NJ, we were in the Jacuzzi together, and I think Paula may have fell down the stairs as well.


Mike “The Situation”: Paula’s looking smoking right now and not to be disrespectful, Paula’s a sweet girl but let’s be honest… it’s a sure thing.


Mike “The Situation”: Everybody’s running for their lives right now. (talking about storm)


Mike “The Situation”: I’m like yea, we share girls why can’t we share underwear (about giving Jionni a shirt).


Snooki : Mike has koodis, so that fact that my man is wearing mikes clothes I’m just like, uh, I hope their clean.


Mike “The Situation”: You need underwear? (to Jionni)


Mike “The Situation”: It’s very ironic, that Jionni’s borrowing my clothes and cooking in the kitchen right now for me, and Paula’s just sitting there waiting… now that’s a situation.


Mike “The Situation”: But uh, Jionni’s hungry right now, he wants to eat this sandwich, he wouldn’t be cooking if he wasn’t.


Mike “The Situation”: So I’ll bring the food to you mother f#@ker.


Mike “The Situation”: All it is is you got to know how to play chess. If you don’t know how to play chess, maybe drop down and try checkers.


Ronnie: I probably shouldn’t have done that in front of Vin, I think Vin got a little mad because… that’s his bi$#h.


Pauly D : You can’t walk in my bed and have your way with me… when I’m not done (to Ronnie).


Pauly D : I never felt so violated in my life.


Snooki : Jionni’s like “don’t drink so much, don’t black out”, I can’t even get drunk with my roommates.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I didn’t even put on underwear today.


Pauly D : Ah there’s my boyfriends. ( to Vin)


Vinny : What are you doing now? Pauly – Waiting for you, let’s get a pedicure.


Pauly D : We’re going to get mini pedis. Vinny – You know, guy stuff.


Pauly D : I got spray tan on my nails and s#$t.


Pauly D : Can you put Vinny’s name on my fingernail? (to salon girl)


Pauly D : I got no tan in Italy so I got a little excited, I went tanning in jersey, went tanning went tanning went tanning… I burnt my whole face off.


Pauly D : So it peeled and then I exfoliated and then I burnt that part that peeled… Pauly D problems.


Snooki : I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would tell anybody in this house to stop tanning… that’s when you know the world is coming to an end.


Pauly D : This really is white boy problems. (talking about burnt face)


Deena : We’re going to Karma tonight and I can freaking wait.


Deena : Even though you a little off you’re a game, your still gonna bring back b#@ches tonight and have sex… I’m just saying. (to Pauly)


Jenni “JWOWW”: Wow you look really good. Snooki – would you bang me? Jenni – bent over and sideways.


Snooki : It’s important to look your hottest the first night of Karma, just because if you don’t look hot the first night of Karma, karma will get you.


Snooki : And because Jionni is gonna be there, I need to do stuff to make me look good (BBBUUURRRPPP).


Deena : I don’t know who I’m gonna make out with but it’s gonna be someone good.


Snooki : My va$#na keeps @#$%*g up.


Pauly D : I’m wearing my favorite necklace my favorite watch, fresh to death.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I don’t think Karma’s ready for us.


Pauly D : So we’re back at Karma kids.


Deena : Damian is in the right place at the right time, maybe he’ll get the golden ticket.


Snooki : Oh my god I’m gonna like cook you, like, chicken cutlets and stuff like that. (to Jionni)


Ronnie: Snooki is wasted off her face, and Jionni is definitely pissed because he has to babysit Nicole.


Jionni: Babe your whole f$#king a$$ is out. (to Snooki)


Ronnie: It’s not like you’re with your girlfriend, It’s like you’re taking care of your child. (about Jionni and Snooki)


Pauly D : Shantel is like the definition of DTF, she’s so DTF right now it’s like not even funny.


Mike “The Situation”: I’m leaving with no girl, I was getting pissed and I was like wow, this might happen right now.


Mike “The Situation”: It was almost like Joe Montana, 20 seconds left in the fourth quarter, I throw the pass… Paula catches it.


Pauly D : Yo these are my rims, they’re 22’s son.


Jionni: That’s called seamen.


Pauly D : Shantel – I’m gonna lay you on the bed and… do you.


Pauly D : Smush was good but, it’s time for Shantel to leave and I gotta call her a cab.


Pauly D : I don’t have an hour, she’s gonna die. (to cab guy on phone)


Pauly D : I’m like, it’s 4 in the morning how many cabs could be out right now?


Pauly D : I don’t know if this girl wants to hang around, but I definitely don’t want her to hang around.


Snooki : I’m thinking like, the girl you brought home last night stole your chain, obvi.


Snooki : She probably stuffed it in her a$$ crack. (about Pauly’s missing chain)


Pauly D : I see my diamond chain glistening in the sun looking all perfect and I’m like thank god.


Pauly D : Shantel – I have no idea, I was like, honestly, I woke up this morning and I’m like oh, what the hell. (about having Pauly’s chain)


Pauly D : She’s all happy like oh I forgot to give you this back, I’m like, you got to be kidding me!


Pauly D : This is what I get for going into the nasty a$$ smush room, I’ll never go into the smush room again.


Snooki : I feel like the girl probably took Pauly’s chain so the next day she could come back again and try an smash… I would do that.


Pauly D : So she lost her dignity, her self respect, so what the hell do you need shoes for? (about Shantel)


Pauly D : So I’m now coming up with a new plan, whenever a girl leaves the house, I’m gonna hug her and pat her down at the same exact time.


Pauly D : I’m not drinking for the rest of my life, until tonight.


Ronnie: Want to go on the ferris wheel and make out? (to Vinnie)


Vinny : I have a choice, either not react to the craziness going on around me or remove myself, either way I have a choice.


Snooki : I’m not gonna drink at the club. (Deena starts laughing)


Deena : Doing eye lashes when your buzzed is not a good time.


Snooki : Did it hurt when you made out with that girl last night? (to Pauly D)


Pauly D : Just go, I’ll talk to him and ill just come meet yous guys later or whatever.


Vinny : Can we sext? (to Pauly D)


Pauly D : You gonna leave me with the situation? Vinny – That’s your cousin.


Pauly D : I just want to grab onto my dude and be like, don’t go, don’t leave me.

Where is My Boyfriend? – Season 4 Episode 8

Jionni is here… and now he’s gone. After waiting and waiting, Snooki and Jionni are finally reunited. Her prince charming flew thousands of miles to come see here in Italy and find love and marriage right? Well, not really. Only 6 hours after showing up, Snooki embarrasses Jionni at the club and he is gone as fast as he came. Snooki is a mess, Mike is acting crazy, and the house isn’t sure what to do. Sprinkled in the larger theme of this weeks episode, JWOWW’s boyfriend wasn’t able to make it over to see her, Snooki pulls a prank on Mike with Brittany, and Mike is ready to fight anyone who breathes in his direction! Italy or Jersey, drama will always be there!

[adsense336x280]

Snooki : I don’t want to go in the back of a cop car ever again.


Snooki : There like coming right here why can’t you just wait? (to the cop)


Snooki : This is so embarrassing, I don’t want to do this again.


Snooki : I’m not allowed to drive in Italy anymore, they took my license.


Snooki : Now it’s like I need a cocktail.


Snooki : I went to jail… again!


Snooki : (On the phone with Jionni) I ran into a cop car. Jionni: Were you drunk?


Snooki : I could only imagine if Jionni’s like I can’t come. I jump off this f*#king balcony onto the street and kill myself.


Snooki : Dude she’s such a dumb blond (talking about Brittany).


Snooki : Dude like I thought I was psycho and crazy, this bitch is beyond psycho and crazy, I don’t even know what to call it, like you’re a wildebeest (talking about Brittany).


Snooki : Oh god I’m gonna poo my pants I’m so excited.


Snooki : Mike sees Brittany and he’s like, what the hell is going on, and I’m like yep hi I did that.


Snooki : Your welcome Mike you f$#king fruit loop.


Snooki : So my prank on Mike backfires, I mean I’m kinda pissed off about it.


Snooki : He hasn’t seen me in like a month so I don’t want him to think I’m fat or like pale or gross.


Snooki : I look like a cop, but Jionni’s gonna think I’m hot because my t#$s are out.


Snooki : Oh my god, Jionni is like my world. Jionni is like crocadilly but alive.


Snooki : I really don’t care to introduce him to anybody, everybody knows who he is. I don’t want to give him the tour because I’m so f$%king horny.


Snooki : I shouldn’t have said that, but, his wiener is tan, and I love it.


Snooki : Jionni: Your balls are out. Snooki: My balls aren’t out shut up.


Snooki : Me and Jionni, we’re gonna have guido babies I know it. I can’t wait to pop those suckers out, they’re gonna be so f$#king cute and tan.


Snooki : I hope I have a c-section because I don’t want it to f#$k up my va$#na


Snooki : If Mike says anything to Jionni, I’m legit gonna punch Mike in the face.


Snooki : Jionni: You’re dancing like a f%$king whore (to Snooki).


Snooki : Where’s my boyfriend? I don’t deserve this right now (drunk looking for Jionni after he left her at the club).


Snooki : I hate you, you’re so mean (to Jionni).


Pauly D : Anything could happen, they could kick us out of Italy. We’re all F#@ked (talking about Snooki’s car crash).


Pauly D : Bye Fiat (to Snookis car).


Pauly D : Did your life flash before your eyes? (to Snooki and Deena)


Pauly D : Yo, you f*#cked up my Fiat girl (to Snooki).


Pauly D : Oh it’s on tonight.


Pauly D : Hey Brittany.


Pauly D : I’m getting nervous now (to Snooki about Jionni coming).


Pauly D : Snooki if he really was here, that was a poor response time, you should never keep a man waiting.


Pauly D : Yo this girl was crying waiting for you son (to Jionni).


Pauly D : Jionni knew what he was getting himself into. He should be more secure. That’s no way to handle your problems my dude.


Pauly D : Who do I have to f$%k around here to get a hotdog? Not you I hope.


Mike “The Situation”: I would have to say the club had so much better ratio between hotdog buns and hotdogs that I am determined to get it in tonight.


Mike “The Situation”: I see a foot in my bed.


Mike “The Situation”: Oh my god aye (to the Australian chick about Brittany being in the bed).


Mike “The Situation”: Uh… this is gonna be tough to get out of.


Mike “The Situation”: I got this Australian chick who I have to find out if she’s DTF. Brittany’s already in my bed.


Mike “The Situation”: So I just say hey, I’ve already got a bun in the oven, no need to warm another one up. Time to go home Australian chick.


Mike “The Situation”: That guy is very curious about me. I don’t like it (about Jionni).


Mike “The Situation”: Anyone comes close to me asking questions, I’m kicking them.


Mike “The Situation”: I’m letting you know I think he already knows, and if he come up to me Ima tell him the truth, like detail for detail and if he come to close, I’m kicking him.


Mike “The Situation”: Between me and you, I’ve never been caught with my guard down. Like if Jionni came up to me and winked, I’d kick him in his head (to JWOWW).


Mike “The Situation”: I don’t want to like, kick your boyfriend in the head, but I feel like he’s looking at me. Is there a problem? (to Snooki)


Mike “The Situation”: On the surface Jionni looks like a nice kid, but at the end of the day, that kid was a f$%king wankster.


Vinny : I don’t see Nicole, all I see is the car getting towed away and I don’t know what that means, I don’t know if Nicole’s locked up, I mean she hit a cop.


Vinny : Snooki come here! Door bell!


Vinny : We don’t want any get the hell outta here (when Snooki and Jionni ring the bell).


Vinny : Mike ever since he got into the fight with Ronnie, he thinks he has to have his guard up all the time, and by his guard, I mean his feet.


Vinny : Because of what happened with Snooki and Mike in the past, Mike’s having an imaginary confrontation in his head right now.


Vinny : Jionni, the fact that your getting upset that Nicole did something a little skanky, is like ridiculous.


Vinny : You know what you can do, get you’re a$$ in the kitchen and make me a f$%king cheeseburger.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Spread your legs (to Snooki as she spray tans her butt).


Jenni “JWOWW”: Nicole is like strutting new outfits every single 5 seconds… that’s night time.


Jenni “JWOWW”: You never fought, you hit yourself (to Mike).


Jenni “JWOWW”: I can’t wait for Mike to like, kick in the air and slip on a banana and like break his ankle.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Well, at least I get to say I walked f#$king Florence barefoot.


Ronnie: Haha high five to that one (Jionni pulling Snooki’s dress up).


Ronnie: Snooki’s dress looks like a swimsuit to be honest with you. It doesn’t even come below her cuca like at all.


Deena : Mike’s new thing is karate. I’m like alright Mike, do your think kung fu panda.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: I really have to pee bad.