Love at the Jersey Shore – Season 5 Episode 7

Love is in the air at the Shore… Or is it too much spray tan and hair gel? Jenni and Rodger have seemed to work things out, Ronnie and Sam haven’t been fighting at all, Snooki has been faithful to Jionni, Deena and Joey hooked up again, Mike may have found love with Paula, oh yeah, and Pauly and Vinny are finally an item!! Could it be that things are too good to be true? What’s Mike planning? It’s just another week at the Shore!


Jenni “JWOWW”: I wasn’t looking at Rodger’s side of things, I was looking at my spoiled a$$*s side.

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Deena : Rodger’s like 65 years old, so, he’s not gonna be playing all these baby games.


Vinny : I can’t believe you didn’t go back to your shifts. Snooki: We got drunk that’s why.


Deena : We’re putting some meatball love into this cake.


Deena : Oh my god, we didn’t even put it in (talking about the cake for Danny).


Deena : Then we just lost track of time. I’ll be honest I forgot we were even at work after a while.


Deena : Right now I feel really mad whore with this sleeve. Nobody better mess with me cause I’m tough.


Snooki : No I don’t have rectal bleeding.


Snooki : How you supposed to have fun at the shore without drinking?


Snooki : Say I only had one drink (to the Dr.). Dr: That’s fine. Snooki: I’ll get a nice big strong one.


Mike “The Situation”: I wasn’t totally like running them over with the bus but I was definitely telling Danny like, I don’t know where they are, they should be here.


Snooki : This is freaking retail abuse.


Snooki : I’m too pretty for this $hit.


Mike “The Situation”: I’m actually guilty in this house until proven innocent.


Pauly D : I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t help it! (about eating the cake)


Pauly D : The second I heard Deena go to sleep, I tiptoed right into the kitchen, got myself a spoon, and I ate myself a piece of that cake.


Pauly D : Don’t cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat.


Deena : I feel kinda bad, that I blamed Mike the whole time for the cake. It’s like, the kid kinda does get blamed for everything.


Mike “The Situation”: I feel like the mean Mike is about to come out, and you’re not gonna like it.


Mike “The Situation”: Looks like the master plan was derailed for another night.


Snooki : Uh I look like a Jersey skank, and I love it.


Snooki : Here comes the shots and this is where it starts.


Snooki : My doctor said not to drink a lot, but I knew it was gonna be so hard not to drink, so I just gave in and I drank, and I drank, and I drank.


Snooki : Honestly, I drank so much that my UTI is drunk, I’m happy, he’s happy, everybody’s happy.


Mike “The Situation”: Paula: Tell me if I have camel toe.


Pauly D : If it’s your birthday, you’re allowed to have camel toe Paula. If it was my birthday, I would have camel toe too.


Pauly D : We just completed the trifecta, gym, tan, laundry.


Vinny : I’m definitely not breaking up with Pauly, we’re in a committed relationship, me and Pauly, we’re gonna take this thing to the next level forever.


Pauly D : Yep, Vinny’s my dude, we’re like the meatballs, except, we’re not meatballs.


Pauly D : Me and Vinny going to muscle maker, it is definitely a date.


Vinny : Hopefully, I get it in later.


Pauly D : This is why I don’t let my man Vinny drive. You only have one job when your driving, hold on to the keys, he couldn’t even do that.


Ronnie: I hear the music and my feet just start going, I got like Gumby ankles.


Mike “The Situation”: I’m definitely flirting with her right now, I’m just gonna keep pushing the envelope until she bends, or blows, one or the other.


Snooki : I have no idea how to speak clock language, so when I say what time is it and someone says it’s quarter past two, just say its two-thirty.


Pauly D : I flipped the script on her, laid down the guilt trip, and now she’s trying to apologize to me and ask why I’m mad at her (about Deena).


Snooki : I have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m not thinking, I’m just talking.


Snooki : I just wanna see Deena and Joey have sex, I mean I’m bored.


Deena : I don’t know if my back hurts from, you know giving up my gold ticket, or Jersey turnpiking so much.


Deena : Joey may have banged my back out of alignment.


Pauly D : Yo if you hurt your back Jersey turnpiking, that’s Deena problems, and I love it.


Mike “The Situation”: I do owe Jionni the truth. I feel bad, you know every time his kissing his girl, you know, he’s like kissing my…


Jenni “JWOWW”: I am wearing this outfit tonight to show Rodger that there are two, big reasons that he is still with me.


Snooki : Don’t let a boob slip.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I’m so paranoid that this dress is gonna snap and my boobs are gonna come popping out.

Meatball Mashup – Season 4 Episode 7

Team Meatballs (Nicole and Deena), and the crew, drive off to Riccione where Deena and Nicole get to know each other a little better. This Episode is all about Team Meatballs as they show us how to get your party on. No Sammi/Ronnie drama in this episode, but Ronnie steals Pauly D’s swagger. Towards the end, Snooki drives into a cop and gets taken away.

Pizza Boss: I lost my many pieces of my brain in that place. (talking about Riccione beach)

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Jenni “JWOWW”: I’m dying to wear my bikini and see what guys look like in Speedo’s.


Ronnie: When I said Riccione, Marco’s eyes lit up. Ohhh Riccione! That’s gotta be a good place.


Jenni “JWOWW”: An Italian beach, does that mean nudity? (Reply from Snooki): Does that mean ding-dongs hanging out?


Pauly D : You do realize we got a fiat right? (about too much luggage for size of cars)


Ronnie: What the fiat!


Deena : Us meatballs we’re short. We can barely touch the pedals in these stupid cars.


Deena : I have to Jersey Turnpike on the Firenze Turnpike.


Mike “The Situation”: Holy Riccione. Holy Macarroni.


Snooki : It looks like Hawaii. So I feel like it’s an island. Or maybe it’s like on the border of like a continent. You know what I
mean? So it’s like by Ocean.


Pauly D : Look at the Italian flag. I feel like I’m in Italy. (Yes, they ARE in Italy)


Deena : Did you just have an 0rgasm? Cause I did. (referring to drink)


Girls: Blast in the glass! Blast in the glass!


Girls: Do you know what a cuca is? A cuca is another name for the v@gina. (teaching bartender)


Snooki : How do you say v@gina in Italian? “Vajin”.


Deena : Drunk shopping is never good.


Snooki : Jenni, your cheeks are out. (Nicole and Deena are being obnoxious to Sammi and Jenni)


Snooki : It feels like heaven. Like the gods have spoke and we hear music.


Snooki : We like to drink. We like to Party. It’s team meatballs.


Snooki : I couldn’t stop, you b&tch. (Toro rushing Deena and falls into bushes)


Jenni “JWOWW”: Deena is showing her cuca to the whole entire club.


Snooki : Team Meatballs can handle anything when it comes to alcohol. So we’re gonna go mad hard all day then mad hard at
the club.


Mike “The Situation”: Deena and Snooki are the meatballs and they’re not making it to the sauce.


Pauly D : Yo, I’ve never danced my underwear off in my life!


Ronnie: We watched them get drunk for two hours straight. I watched Snooki run head straight first into a bush like Mike ran

into a wall.


Snooki : Stick with me and we’ll be fine. If we both get crazy, it’s not a big deal.


Jenni “JWOWW”: This sounds like the cab ride home. Tonight is gonna be one of those nights. I already know.


Jenni “JWOWW”: She has no underwear.


Deena : What ever! I forgot to put underwear on.


Jenni “JWOWW”: It’s bad enough a nipple slips at the club but you’re never supposed to forget your underwear.


Jenni “JWOWW”: Nicole and Deena are digesting each other’s tongues. I want to throw up.


Snooki : I’m the best kisser on this whole planet.


Pauly D : Hey Deena. Stop making a scene and Lezz go.


Pauly D : Ronnie Swacked my wake up call … Swacked is when you get your swagger jacked.


Pauly D : What ever I say, wear or do, Ronnie does the exact same thing … Sometimes the stuff I do is contagious so I
understand.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I wish I had the men in black zapper to undo the whole night …
I cannot accept the fact that Deena and Nicole hooked up like that.


Pizza Boss: It’s a dog. Oh no, it’s your shoes. (talking about Snooki’s boots)


Snooki : I feel like nobody should have cars here in Italy. They don’t know how to drive. (right before crashing into cop)