Strict diet of chips and chili con queso

I’d like to nominate a friend, [name removed]. She is my FBI little goddness. She spends her summers bronzing and boozing on the beaches of Rhode Island. Throughout high school she worked at an Ice Cream Shop called Sundaes where she specialized in frosting names. Her goal in life was to be a falconette, until she started watching Jersey Shore.

She talks about JWOWW like she is just another friend she has, and watches Jersey Shore like its video chatting with people back home. The Italian accent breaks loose and she is ready for the weekend. Though she is always DTGFU (down to get f*ck$d up, which she says all the time), the weekends are her real time to shine.

Throughout the course of a weekend she typically goes on a strict not-a-diet of vodka and chips and chili con queso. Literally that is all she will consume for the entire weekend. Her object of affection is the manliest men she can find here down south at school which has proved to be more difficult than her RI home. Hard to find a juice head amongst the southern pastel wearing frat boys. She swears she is just trying to find a guy that loves lifting and football and smells like a man. We aren’t quite sure what that smell is, but I’m sure it’s a combination of sweat, meatballs, and tanning oil. Help my little Guidette realize her JerseyDreamz.

Above is an entry to: So You Think You Could be a Jersey Shore Cast Member?. The winner will be selected based on Facebook “Likes.” If you want to vote for this Jersey Shore fan, be sure to share and “like” this page.

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