One Man Down: Season 5 Episode 2

Another episode, more drama. Pauly loses his chain, Jionni gets mad at Snooki’s drinking, and Vinny leaves Seaside… wait what?!?! Vinny is gone?? That’s right, it looks like Vinny needs time away to deal with some of the internal issues he is going through. The house just won’t be the same without him…


Vinny : Bro I can’t f@#king function in this environment… I want to go home.

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Vinny : I’m burnt out, I’m pushing through but the car can only get so far on fumes.


Mike “The Situation”: I had met Paula the first summer in NJ, we were in the Jacuzzi together, and I think Paula may have fell down the stairs as well.


Mike “The Situation”: Paula’s looking smoking right now and not to be disrespectful, Paula’s a sweet girl but let’s be honest… it’s a sure thing.


Mike “The Situation”: Everybody’s running for their lives right now. (talking about storm)


Mike “The Situation”: I’m like yea, we share girls why can’t we share underwear (about giving Jionni a shirt).


Snooki : Mike has koodis, so that fact that my man is wearing mikes clothes I’m just like, uh, I hope their clean.


Mike “The Situation”: You need underwear? (to Jionni)


Mike “The Situation”: It’s very ironic, that Jionni’s borrowing my clothes and cooking in the kitchen right now for me, and Paula’s just sitting there waiting… now that’s a situation.


Mike “The Situation”: But uh, Jionni’s hungry right now, he wants to eat this sandwich, he wouldn’t be cooking if he wasn’t.


Mike “The Situation”: So I’ll bring the food to you mother f#@ker.


Mike “The Situation”: All it is is you got to know how to play chess. If you don’t know how to play chess, maybe drop down and try checkers.


Ronnie: I probably shouldn’t have done that in front of Vin, I think Vin got a little mad because… that’s his bi$#h.


Pauly D : You can’t walk in my bed and have your way with me… when I’m not done (to Ronnie).


Pauly D : I never felt so violated in my life.


Snooki : Jionni’s like “don’t drink so much, don’t black out”, I can’t even get drunk with my roommates.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I didn’t even put on underwear today.


Pauly D : Ah there’s my boyfriends. ( to Vin)


Vinny : What are you doing now? Pauly – Waiting for you, let’s get a pedicure.


Pauly D : We’re going to get mini pedis. Vinny – You know, guy stuff.


Pauly D : I got spray tan on my nails and s#$t.


Pauly D : Can you put Vinny’s name on my fingernail? (to salon girl)


Pauly D : I got no tan in Italy so I got a little excited, I went tanning in jersey, went tanning went tanning went tanning… I burnt my whole face off.


Pauly D : So it peeled and then I exfoliated and then I burnt that part that peeled… Pauly D problems.


Snooki : I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would tell anybody in this house to stop tanning… that’s when you know the world is coming to an end.


Pauly D : This really is white boy problems. (talking about burnt face)


Deena : We’re going to Karma tonight and I can freaking wait.


Deena : Even though you a little off you’re a game, your still gonna bring back b#@ches tonight and have sex… I’m just saying. (to Pauly)


Jenni “JWOWW”: Wow you look really good. Snooki – would you bang me? Jenni – bent over and sideways.


Snooki : It’s important to look your hottest the first night of Karma, just because if you don’t look hot the first night of Karma, karma will get you.


Snooki : And because Jionni is gonna be there, I need to do stuff to make me look good (BBBUUURRRPPP).


Deena : I don’t know who I’m gonna make out with but it’s gonna be someone good.


Snooki : My va$#na keeps @#$%*g up.


Pauly D : I’m wearing my favorite necklace my favorite watch, fresh to death.


Jenni “JWOWW”: I don’t think Karma’s ready for us.


Pauly D : So we’re back at Karma kids.


Deena : Damian is in the right place at the right time, maybe he’ll get the golden ticket.


Snooki : Oh my god I’m gonna like cook you, like, chicken cutlets and stuff like that. (to Jionni)


Ronnie: Snooki is wasted off her face, and Jionni is definitely pissed because he has to babysit Nicole.


Jionni: Babe your whole f$#king a$$ is out. (to Snooki)


Ronnie: It’s not like you’re with your girlfriend, It’s like you’re taking care of your child. (about Jionni and Snooki)


Pauly D : Shantel is like the definition of DTF, she’s so DTF right now it’s like not even funny.


Mike “The Situation”: I’m leaving with no girl, I was getting pissed and I was like wow, this might happen right now.


Mike “The Situation”: It was almost like Joe Montana, 20 seconds left in the fourth quarter, I throw the pass… Paula catches it.


Pauly D : Yo these are my rims, they’re 22’s son.


Jionni: That’s called seamen.


Pauly D : Shantel – I’m gonna lay you on the bed and… do you.


Pauly D : Smush was good but, it’s time for Shantel to leave and I gotta call her a cab.


Pauly D : I don’t have an hour, she’s gonna die. (to cab guy on phone)


Pauly D : I’m like, it’s 4 in the morning how many cabs could be out right now?


Pauly D : I don’t know if this girl wants to hang around, but I definitely don’t want her to hang around.


Snooki : I’m thinking like, the girl you brought home last night stole your chain, obvi.


Snooki : She probably stuffed it in her a$$ crack. (about Pauly’s missing chain)


Pauly D : I see my diamond chain glistening in the sun looking all perfect and I’m like thank god.


Pauly D : Shantel – I have no idea, I was like, honestly, I woke up this morning and I’m like oh, what the hell. (about having Pauly’s chain)


Pauly D : She’s all happy like oh I forgot to give you this back, I’m like, you got to be kidding me!


Pauly D : This is what I get for going into the nasty a$$ smush room, I’ll never go into the smush room again.


Snooki : I feel like the girl probably took Pauly’s chain so the next day she could come back again and try an smash… I would do that.


Pauly D : So she lost her dignity, her self respect, so what the hell do you need shoes for? (about Shantel)


Pauly D : So I’m now coming up with a new plan, whenever a girl leaves the house, I’m gonna hug her and pat her down at the same exact time.


Pauly D : I’m not drinking for the rest of my life, until tonight.


Ronnie: Want to go on the ferris wheel and make out? (to Vinnie)


Vinny : I have a choice, either not react to the craziness going on around me or remove myself, either way I have a choice.


Snooki : I’m not gonna drink at the club. (Deena starts laughing)


Deena : Doing eye lashes when your buzzed is not a good time.


Snooki : Did it hurt when you made out with that girl last night? (to Pauly D)


Pauly D : Just go, I’ll talk to him and ill just come meet yous guys later or whatever.


Vinny : Can we sext? (to Pauly D)


Pauly D : You gonna leave me with the situation? Vinny – That’s your cousin.


Pauly D : I just want to grab onto my dude and be like, don’t go, don’t leave me.