New roommates?? Danny’s fed up with the roommates not showing up to work on time and sleeping in the back room (Jenni and Mike anyone?). With Vinny gone, and now Mike disappearing, he’s threatening to hire new employees and put them in the house! But just when things look like they’re turning for the worst, Mike comes back! Wild hookups, birthday parties, strippers, oh yeah, and did we mention VINNY’S BACK!!!!
Deena : Me and you, we have to interview the strippers.
Deena : We definitely need at least two strippers to pull this party off.
Snooki : We made a cake for Pauly and not Mike… that’s what you get for being a d@#chebag.
Snooki : This is my family and I don’t want anyone coming in the house and f$#king anything up because I will kill you, I don’t care if I’m small, I will kick you.
Snooki : New roommates?
Mike “The Situation”: I’m very sensitive.
Pauly D : Where’s the other meatball?
Snooki : I’m honestly ready to make sales.
Pauly D : Right now I’m working with the meatballs, and I’m expecting them to slack off, but they’re really pulling together and working hard, I don’t know how long it’s gonna last.
Snooki : I’m gonna walk like this now… you don’t mess with me… would you fight me?
Snooki : Pauly, can you teach me how to walk hard, like gangster.
Pauly D : Can’t teach swag you’re just born with it.
Deena : I got it, just walk like you’re not trying to walk hard.
Deena : Meatball power!
Snooki : Meatball power!
Jenni “JWOWW”: Dude, you’re not directing porn (to guy arranging strippers).
Jenni “JWOWW”: Four over the hill and six boobs.
Ronnie: I’m gonna try not to be late to work but the title on my watch already tells me I’m gonna be late to work, after Danny already bitched us out for not working hard.
Mike “The Situation”: Danny: This guy shows up out of uniform and late. Mike: But I still look good though.
Ronnie: We’re gonna go get coffee together he says (about Mike and new girl at the shop).
Jenni “JWOWW”: If I rip down the help wanted sign, there will be no more interviews, and therefore, there will be no more possibilities of getting new roommates.
Jenni “JWOWW”: What’s a good name for Danny since he’s being a d$#che?
Mike “The Situation”: Help wanted, see the old dude. Jenny: They might think it’s you.
Snooki : I’m gonna show off my tat. Don’t mess with me in here Party Lane.
Snooki : Let’s have bunny sex (to Deena).
Snooki : If we need freaking bunny suits to bring life to this house, that’s when we know we have problems.
Ronnie: I asked Pauly, Pauly you drinking tonight, and he’s like I’m probably gonna take it easy… that’s what you think.
Mike “The Situation”: It’s pretty hard to surprise me, you know I’m pretty paranoid.
Pauly D : This is the best cake I’ve had in my life.
Mike “The Situation”: It went from a nightmare to a dream because actually the chicks were cute.
Pauly D : I got cakes, I got strippers, I got my friends, this is the best day of my life.
Mike “The Situation”: I’m having fun with this blonde stripper right now, um so much fun I might even take her home.
Pauly D : And I told this chick, I would like to get in my birthday suit with you, and she’s down.
Mike “The Situation”: I have no idea why this stripper is worrying about socks.
Pauly D : Yeaaa Buddy! Birthday sex, everybody should get laid on their birthday.
Mike “The Situation”: What a nightmare what a night (as stripper is leaving).
Mike “The Situation”: I don’t even remember this stripper’s name. Could’ve been Indeeda, because I need a cigarette, I need some French toast, you know what, I need you to get the hell out of here.
Snooki : The bunny costume is f#$king awesome, just because it looks like a serial killer.
Snooki : I love flowers and their long stems, and that’s like expensive.
Pauly D : So we go downstairs it’s like mad dark, but like ten seconds into the club where the crowd was, bang, I see like these two girls like rolling around on the ground and I’m like oh s#$t, chick fight, then I look over and I’m like holy s#$t it’s Sam!
Ronnie: Sam getting into a fight, that’s some scary s#$t, and I just don’t know what to do right now.
Sammi “Sweetheart”: You don’t yank my newly weave, that I just got.
Sammi “Sweetheart”: I was always to like self defend myself, I will take down the world if I feel like somebody touched me the wrong way.
Deena : We’re just trying to, you know, do sex, and this freaking clock keeps going off.
Mike “The Situation”: There’s a hundred percent chance that Paula’s gonna get a second date.
Snooki : I mean if I was a guy, I would f#$k Paula. Hello, she’s hot.
Pauly D : Yo forget this, let’s go get Vinny. I can’t take it anymore.
Pauly D : Let’s go to his house and get the little b@$tard.
Pauly D : Everybody’s down, everybody’s down, we’re going to get my boyfriend.
Snooki : We’re going to Staten Island and kidnapping you’re a$$ b#$ch!
Pauly D : We’re going to get my boy back… today.
Pauly D : Today’s GTGVB, gym, tan, get Vinny back.
Deena : This like blows d#$k for skittles right now.
Sammi “Sweetheart”: We barge into Vinny’s house like we are a swat team.
Sammi “Sweetheart”: I hope Vinny’s like home right now, because this would be bad if he wasn’t home and we’re just like roaming through his house.
Ronnie: I have no idea what Vinny’s tattoo means, it looks cool, no f#$king idea what it means.
Pauly D : He’s got something on his chest, that’s a lot of balls.
Vinny : I’m trying to get laid tonight!
Jenni “JWOWW”: He has a white a$$, tan you’re a$$, oh my god.
Snooki : I think I saw a ball.