Jenni “JWOWW”: I wasn’t looking at Rodger’s side of things, I was looking at my spoiled a$$es side.

Deena : Rodger’s like 65 years old, so, he’s not gonna be playing all these baby games.

Vinny : I can’t believe you didn’t go back to your shifts. Snooki: We got drunk that’s why.

Deena : We’re putting some meatball love into this cake.

Deena : Oh my god, we didn’t even put it in (talking about the cake for Danny).

Deena : Then we just lost track of time. I’ll be honest I forgot we were even at work after a while.

Deena : Right now I feel really mad whore with this sleeve. Nobody better mess with me cause I’m tough.

Snooki : No I don’t have rectal bleeding.

Snooki : How you supposed to have fun at the shore without drinking?

Snooki : Say I only had one drink (to the Dr.). Dr: That’s fine. Snooki: I’ll get a nice big strong one.

Mike “The Situation”: I wasn’t totally like running them over with the bus but I was definitely telling Danny like, I don’t know where they are, they should be here.

Snooki : This is freaking retail abuse.

Snooki : I’m too pretty for this $hit.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m actually guilty in this house until proven innocent.

Pauly D : I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t help it! (about eating the cake)

Pauly D : The second I heard Deena go to sleep, I tiptoed right into the kitchen, got myself a spoon, and I ate myself a piece of that cake.

Pauly D : Don’t cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat.

Deena : I feel kinda bad, that I blamed Mike the whole time for the cake. It’s like, the kid kinda does get blamed for everything.

Mike “The Situation”: I feel like the mean Mike is about to come out, and you’re not gonna like it.

Mike “The Situation”: Looks like the master plan was derailed for another night.

Snooki : Uh I look like a Jersey skank, and I love it.

Snooki : Here comes the shots and this is where it starts.

Snooki : My doctor said not to drink a lot, but I knew it was gonna be so hard not to drink, so I just gave in and I drank, and I drank, and I drank.

Snooki : Honestly, I drank so much that my UTI is drunk, I’m happy, he’s happy, everybody’s happy.

Mike “The Situation”: Paula: Tell me if I have camel toe.

Pauly D : If it’s your birthday, you’re allowed to have camel toe Paula. If it was my birthday, I would have camel toe too.

Pauly D : We just completed the trifecta, gym, tan, laundry.

Vinny : I’m definitely not breaking up with Pauly, we’re in a committed relationship, me and Pauly, we’re gonna take this thing to the next level forever.

Pauly D : Yep, Vinny’s my dude, we’re like the meatballs, except, we’re not meatballs.

Pauly D : Me and Vinny going to muscle maker, it is definitely a date.

Vinny : Hopefully, I get it in later.

Pauly D : This is why I don’t let my man Vinny drive. You only have one job when your driving, hold on to the keys, he couldn’t even do that.

Ronnie: I hear the music and my feet just start going, I got like Gumby ankles.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m definitely flirting with her right now, I’m just gonna keep pushing the envelope until she bends, or blows, one or the other.

Snooki : I have no idea how to speak clock language, so when I say what time is it and someone says it’s quarter past two, just say its two-thirty.

Pauly D : I flipped the script on her, laid down the guilt trip, and now she’s trying to apologize to me and ask why I’m mad at her (about Deena).

Snooki : I have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m not thinking, I’m just talking.

Snooki : I just wanna see Deena and Joey have sex, I mean I’m bored.

Deena : I don’t know if my back hurts from, you know giving up my gold ticket, or Jersey turnpiking so much.

Deena : Joey may have banged my back out of alignment.

Pauly D : Yo if you hurt your back Jersey turnpiking, that’s Deena problems, and I love it.

Mike “The Situation”: I do owe Jionni the truth. I feel bad, you know every time his kissing his girl, you know, he’s like kissing my…

Jenni “JWOWW”: I am wearing this outfit tonight to show Rodger that there are two, big reasons that he is still with me.

Snooki : Don’t let a boob slip.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I’m so paranoid that this dress is gonna snap and my boobs are gonna come popping out.

Mike “The Situation”: We’re pretty much finding out who the real trouble maker is… and um… it’s Snooki.

Vinny : I’m taking a crap do you want to shower first?

Deena : Yeah, just go poop and then I’ll go to the shower.

Pauly D : Go poop and I’ll clean that s$!t up for you.

Deena : I hate seeing Jeeni sad, you know she’s been going through a rough time because she misses Rodger, and I know she’s breaking down, but at least she got her hair done, so that’s good.

Vinny : I kinda feel like I’m back in Italy, minus the armpit hair (talking about the packed club).

Vinny : I know that Deanna is probably a sure thing, but she’s still like a five or a six, during the weekend you’re looking for like a seven or an eight.

Vinny : This girl Nikki is like a straight up hot a$$ chick.

Deena : That one is a hundred times better than the other one (to Pauly about Vinny’s girl).

Deena : I’m definitely like the best wing woman ever, I’m dancing with this girl, I’m keeping her away from Vinny and the other girl. I feel like I’m an ultimate good time right now.

Snooki : Jenni left the club, I’m drunk right now and I have no idea what’s going on, so I just walk home.

Snooki : The boardwalk is kinda like a piece of cake when your drunk now because it’s nothing like the cobblestones.

Vinny : I’m feminine, I got soft features, you know what I mean? (to Nikki)

Vinny : I mean, I think I’m a good transition for a lesbian girl.

Vinny : She don’t like f#$king guys (about Nikki).

Ronnie: I mean you’re cute, but you’re not that cute (to Vinny).

Vinny : You got someone to f#$k tonight, you’re good (to Vinny).

Vinny : When you take a lesbian back to the straight team, that is like Christopher Columbus discovering America.

Ronnie: I want Deena on my team. She’s a good team player.

Snooki : I don’t feel good. I need a f#$king therapist, and I need AA meetings.

Snooki : Ouch, you hurt my eyeballs. The sun’s to powerful today.

Snooki : In Arkansas, it’s always dark out. So everything’s dark, always.

Snooki : Something’s going on in my stomach, it’s telling me to poop or throw up.

Pauly D : I got to work with two freaking meatballs, lucky I don’t make a sangwitch.

Deena : Whenever me and Nicole work together, we’re always bad news bears.

Deena : Think it’s gonna be meatball problems today.

Pauly D : Any major changes to the store you have to discuss with me bro (to Danny).

Snooki : No wait don’t run I’m gonna throw up.

Deena : I’m like whatever work get real, I’m over you today. Going to have some fun.

Pauly D : Danny: Alright Pauly, I’m gonna go look for those two f#$king dingbats right now (about the meatballs).

Deena : Right now Danny is being such an annoying.

Pauly D : Danny has no control over these meatballs whatsoever.

Pauly D : A brand new stocker, she’s crazy, HELP!

Pauly D : Man, it’s the stalker of all stalkers, I cannot look to my right without this girl being there.

Vinny : She wants to be a stalker, she don’t want to be your girls she like wants to be your stalker.

Deena : We should’ve been strippers.

Vinny : We think that she snuck a GPS system into Pauly’s blowout.

Pauly D : It’s a war out there as it is, but me and Vinny are putting grenades on each other.

Pauly D : Fair to say Vinny won this battle, but he will not win the war.

Mike “The Situation”: Right now I am keeping my friends close and my enemies’ closer.

Snooki : Yea we’re team crazypants.

Snooki : So how do you play? Ronnie: You get it in the hole. Snooki: That’s what she said.

Jenni “JWOWW”: How is there a pretzel in my makeup?

Pauly D : You saw Dina’s vag!n@.

Deena : I don’t know if I’m really pleased with being in Mike’s family, he’s been nice so far but, a leopard never sheds its stripes.

Deena : Till he proves me wrong, I will always be on my toes when it comes to Mike.

Check out the video Snooki and JWOWW do Spartacus!

See the full story at TV Line

Sammi “Sweetheart”: We barged into Vinny’s house like we were a SWAT team.

Pauly D : I got my boyfriend back! I get the smush room!

Vinny : I’m trying to get laid tonight!

Deena : Merp, Merp, Merrrp, Merrrp, MERP! We needed Vinny back in this house.

Snooki : [Speaking and looking at herself in the mirror] Don’t judge me!

Mike “The Situation”: [Getting tattoes on forearms saying] Loyalty and Betrayal. Yeah, so [I] always remember who [had my] back and

who didn’t.

Ronnie: Mike knows nothing about loyalty and knows everything about betrayal.

Snooki : I f******* peed on myself. [at club Karma]. I got excited dancing with my girls and I legit peed myself. Don’t tell anybody.

Snooki : I need perfume… Honestly, I don’t care… that’s still considered a shower [spraying lots of perfume on self].

Snooki : Don’t call me dirty. I’m not dirty. I smell phenomenal.

Deena : [to Vinny] I Love You! | Vinny: All right. | Deena: Say it back.

Snooki : Party foul times ten. [throwing her underwear into trash]

Deena : I got electrocuted. Does that mean you get all f**** up? | Sammi: What do you mean?

Deena : I think wall electrocutions are electronic. | Sammi: You just got a little zap.

Pauly D : If you look up the word too much swag in the dictionary… It’ll be a great big picture of my face.

Snooki : OMG! I should be on the fashion runway.

Snooki : Something funky is going on. Like, I can’t control my bladder.

Snooki : UTI doesn’t stand for Ultimate Tanning Institute…

Snooki : I have UTI and it hurts like balls … Or I’m pregnant.

Deena : We’re actually dressed pretty well. Nothing’s showing.

Pauly D : [talking to Ronnie] You can’t play baseball. You have too much bicep.

Snooki : [at batting cage] I hate balls thrown at me. I just want them in my …

Snooki and Deena: Fun Cab! You’re in the fun cab! [jumping up and down]

Mike “The Situation”: Gym, Tan, I need some Clearasil.

Jenni “JWOWW”: All I see is Mike’s pants unzipped and his wiener barely hanging out. What the hell is going on?

Vinny : I swear to god it’s talking to me bro.

Jenni “JWOWW”: That’s why I’m weirded out and starting at Ronnie

Mike “The Situation”: I feel like it’s time to be bad. Instead of “The Situation” it’s “The Confrontation”

Deena : I’m going to lure them in, and she’ll ransack them. Is that a word? Ransack?

Pauly D : Snooki is this super sex crazed bunny. Scary.

Ronnie: It’s a memory game and we know Snooki has the memory span of a fish.

Snooki : This is a weird game but I’ll play it.

Pauly D : Snooki is covered in back soot and it’s the best day of my life.

Deena : Mike is definetly Jekyll and Hyde.

Mike “The Situation”: We’re finding out who the real trouble maker is … and it’s Snooki.

Deena : Me and you, we have to interview the strippers.

Deena : We definitely need at least two strippers to pull this party off.

Snooki : We made a cake for Pauly and not Mike… that’s what you get for being a d@#chebag.

Snooki : This is my family and I don’t want anyone coming in the house and f$#king anything up because I will kill you, I don’t care if I’m small, I will kick you.

Snooki : New roommates?

Mike “The Situation”: I’m very sensitive.

Pauly D : Where’s the other meatball?

Snooki : I’m honestly ready to make sales.

Pauly D : Right now I’m working with the meatballs, and I’m expecting them to slack off, but they’re really pulling together and working hard, I don’t know how long it’s gonna last.

Snooki : I’m gonna walk like this now… you don’t mess with me… would you fight me?

Snooki : Pauly, can you teach me how to walk hard, like gangster.

Pauly D : Can’t teach swag you’re just born with it.

Deena : I got it, just walk like you’re not trying to walk hard.

Deena : Meatball power!

Snooki : Meatball power!

Jenni “JWOWW”: Dude, you’re not directing porn (to guy arranging strippers).

Jenni “JWOWW”: Four over the hill and six boobs.

Ronnie: I’m gonna try not to be late to work but the title on my watch already tells me I’m gonna be late to work, after Danny already bitched us out for not working hard.

Mike “The Situation”: Danny: This guy shows up out of uniform and late. Mike: But I still look good though.

Ronnie: We’re gonna go get coffee together he says (about Mike and new girl at the shop).

Jenni “JWOWW”: If I rip down the help wanted sign, there will be no more interviews, and therefore, there will be no more possibilities of getting new roommates.

Jenni “JWOWW”: What’s a good name for Danny since he’s being a d$#che?

Mike “The Situation”: Help wanted, see the old dude. Jenny: They might think it’s you.

Snooki : I’m gonna show off my tat. Don’t mess with me in here Party Lane.

Snooki : Let’s have bunny sex (to Deena).

Snooki : If we need freaking bunny suits to bring life to this house, that’s when we know we have problems.

Ronnie: I asked Pauly, Pauly you drinking tonight, and he’s like I’m probably gonna take it easy… that’s what you think.

Mike “The Situation”: It’s pretty hard to surprise me, you know I’m pretty paranoid.

Pauly D : This is the best cake I’ve had in my life.

Mike “The Situation”: It went from a nightmare to a dream because actually the chicks were cute.

Pauly D : I got cakes, I got strippers, I got my friends, this is the best day of my life.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m having fun with this blonde stripper right now, um so much fun I might even take her home.

Pauly D : And I told this chick, I would like to get in my birthday suit with you, and she’s down.

Mike “The Situation”: I have no idea why this stripper is worrying about socks.

Pauly D : Yeaaa Buddy! Birthday sex, everybody should get laid on their birthday.

Mike “The Situation”: What a nightmare what a night (as stripper is leaving).

Mike “The Situation”: I don’t even remember this stripper’s name. Could’ve been Indeeda, because I need a cigarette, I need some French toast, you know what, I need you to get the hell out of here.

Snooki : The bunny costume is f#$king awesome, just because it looks like a serial killer.

Snooki : I love flowers and their long stems, and that’s like expensive.

Pauly D : So we go downstairs it’s like mad dark, but like ten seconds into the club where the crowd was, bang, I see like these two girls like rolling around on the ground and I’m like oh s#$t, chick fight, then I look over and I’m like holy s#$t it’s Sam!

Ronnie: Sam getting into a fight, that’s some scary s#$t, and I just don’t know what to do right now.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: You don’t yank my newly weave, that I just got.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: I was always to like self defend myself, I will take down the world if I feel like somebody touched me the wrong way.

Deena : We’re just trying to, you know, do sex, and this freaking clock keeps going off.

Mike “The Situation”: There’s a hundred percent chance that Paula’s gonna get a second date.

Snooki : I mean if I was a guy, I would f#$k Paula. Hello, she’s hot.

Pauly D : Yo forget this, let’s go get Vinny. I can’t take it anymore.

Pauly D : Let’s go to his house and get the little b@$tard.

Pauly D : Everybody’s down, everybody’s down, we’re going to get my boyfriend.

Snooki : We’re going to Staten Island and kidnapping you’re a$$ b#$ch!

Pauly D : We’re going to get my boy back… today.

Pauly D : Today’s GTGVB, gym, tan, get Vinny back.

Deena : This like blows d#$k for skittles right now.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: We barge into Vinny’s house like we are a swat team.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: I hope Vinny’s like home right now, because this would be bad if he wasn’t home and we’re just like roaming through his house.

Ronnie: I have no idea what Vinny’s tattoo means, it looks cool, no f#$king idea what it means.

Pauly D : He’s got something on his chest, that’s a lot of balls.

Vinny : I’m trying to get laid tonight!

Jenni “JWOWW”: He has a white a$$, tan you’re a$$, oh my god.

Snooki : I think I saw a ball.

Pauly D : I just want to grab onto my dude and go ‘Don’t Go, Don’t Go, Don’t Leave Me.’

Pauly D : At this point, my man leaves me. I gotta go tell the rest of the household that he may not be coming back.

Jenni “JWOWW”: That was the last thing I thought was gonna happen.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Deena overreacts about everythings … Hearing that Vinny stubbed his toe, she might have cried.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m like a shopper at a store, I see something I like and it’s ‘Come with me’.

Pauly D : I would have used the grenade camera on the girl Situation brought home but I had to get this cute girl to get it in for my man Vinny.

Vinny : I had to come home. Mom: Okay. That’s good.

Vinny : I had a lot of anxiety over there, so… I had to deal with it over here, you know. It wasn’t the right environment for me to be in… it was

too much.

Mike “The Situation”: We got Situation nation coming down tonight.

Snooki : We’re not going to remember it. We’re probably gonna make out. Team Meat Balls!

Snooki : I feel like today is a perfect Meat Ball day. Let’s just get wasty pants.

Snooki : Oh my God, I’m going to get in so much trouble. Jionni’s going to kill me.

Deena : We met this awesome gay guy. You’re gay right? I love gay men. Love them! I can hang out with gay men all freaking day.

Snooki : I’m mad drunk right now. | Deena: Can you walk at all?

Deena : You know it’s bad when I’m the sober one.

Deena : Now’s it’s two meat balls on the loose and we’re completely not in the state of mind we should be.

Snooki : [regarding Aztec clubbers] We’re the f****** veterans and I’ll show you how it’s done.

Deena : At that point, once we fell, I felt there’s no coming back from this one.

Mike “The Situation”: [to Deena] Your a** is hanging out. Are you for real. What corner was you working tonight?

Snooki : Deena’s hair is f****** disgusting right now. You might as well go Britney Spears and shave it off.

Deena : It’s like fingerprints, how are you going to tell a guidette apart without her extensions?

Ronnie: In memory of Vinny, I’m rocking skinny jeans.

Pauly D : [about tattooed chick] She’s ready to go. No work involved.

Pauly D : I’m going to smash this tattooed chick in my man Vinny’s bed. In honor of my man Vinny for leaving the house.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m tired of being the bad dude, I don’t know if I can do it anymore.

Mike “The Situation”: Gym Tan Tell the truth.

Pauly D : [about tattooed chick] This girl is Vinny’s type to a T… So I smooshed her as a perfect way to honor Vinny.

Pauly D : [on the phone] How are you? | Girl: Fine | Pauly: How are the Kids? | Girl: Huh? | Pauly: Can I have a cab?

Mike “The Situation”: [to Shore Store customer] You need any help? She’s right there [points to Snooki sleeping].

Bosnian Girl: [gives number to The Situation] I want grill cheese. In the morning. No Crust.

Pauly D : [to Vinny] I smooshed a girl in your bed. She was a couger with tattoes.

Pauly D : This Bosnian chick is so persistent. This chick must want to do something.

Deena : Even though I look like a nut case, I’m really a good girl.

Pauly D : [to Bosnian girl] You can come to bed or I can call you a cab. It’s up to you.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Pauly is about to go to bed and this poor girl looks like a lost puppy. She doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Bosnian Girl: Can we just talk in the room? | Pauly D: I’ll call the cab.

Pauly D : I have NO TIME to talk to anybody at 4 in the morning. It should be against the law to come to my house at 4 in the morning on my birthday and not give me birthday sex.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: I actually like Paula. She might be dirty, grimy, and disgusting but she’s just a nice girl.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Who does this girl think she is .. You’re not DTF with Pauly? Really, you’re DTF with Mike? That’s absourd, that’s just

crazy.

Mike “The Situation”: [about Paula] She’s like Triple A. You call her and she’s there.

Pauly D : My mother pulled together and made it happen. She brought my barber here to cut my hair for my birthday. Best gift I’ve had in my

life.

Deena : I know I’m not the smartest crayon… [but] we can make a party.

Ronnie: The lobster the size of snookie.

Mike “The Situation”: Of course, the girls made Pauly a cake. I must be the devil in this house… Pauly’s the good guy, and it seems I’m the bad

guy a lot of the times.

Snooki : Uh, my a** is, like, protruding… Protruding. The word of the day. Use it.

Mike “The Situation”: I wear my heart on my sleeve and it hurts me to think that people don’t care.

Snooki : Dropping like flies. [Vinny left, now Mike leaves?]

Vinny : Bro I can’t f@#king function in this environment… I want to go home.

Vinny : I’m burnt out, I’m pushing through but the car can only get so far on fumes.

Mike “The Situation”: I had met Paula the first summer in NJ, we were in the Jacuzzi together, and I think Paula may have fell down the stairs as well.

Mike “The Situation”: Paula’s looking smoking right now and not to be disrespectful, Paula’s a sweet girl but let’s be honest… it’s a sure thing.

Mike “The Situation”: Everybody’s running for their lives right now. (talking about storm)

Mike “The Situation”: I’m like yea, we share girls why can’t we share underwear (about giving Jionni a shirt).

Snooki : Mike has koodis, so that fact that my man is wearing mikes clothes I’m just like, uh, I hope their clean.

Mike “The Situation”: You need underwear? (to Jionni)

Mike “The Situation”: It’s very ironic, that Jionni’s borrowing my clothes and cooking in the kitchen right now for me, and Paula’s just sitting there waiting… now that’s a situation.

Mike “The Situation”: But uh, Jionni’s hungry right now, he wants to eat this sandwich, he wouldn’t be cooking if he wasn’t.

Mike “The Situation”: So I’ll bring the food to you mother f#@ker.

Mike “The Situation”: All it is is you got to know how to play chess. If you don’t know how to play chess, maybe drop down and try checkers.

Ronnie: I probably shouldn’t have done that in front of Vin, I think Vin got a little mad because… that’s his bi$#h.

Pauly D : You can’t walk in my bed and have your way with me… when I’m not done (to Ronnie).

Pauly D : I never felt so violated in my life.

Snooki : Jionni’s like “don’t drink so much, don’t black out”, I can’t even get drunk with my roommates.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I didn’t even put on underwear today.

Pauly D : Ah there’s my boyfriends. ( to Vin)

Vinny : What are you doing now? Pauly – Waiting for you, let’s get a pedicure.

Pauly D : We’re going to get mini pedis. Vinny – You know, guy stuff.

Pauly D : I got spray tan on my nails and s#$t.

Pauly D : Can you put Vinny’s name on my fingernail? (to salon girl)

Pauly D : I got no tan in Italy so I got a little excited, I went tanning in jersey, went tanning went tanning went tanning… I burnt my whole face off.

Pauly D : So it peeled and then I exfoliated and then I burnt that part that peeled… Pauly D problems.

Snooki : I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would tell anybody in this house to stop tanning… that’s when you know the world is coming to an end.

Pauly D : This really is white boy problems. (talking about burnt face)

Deena : We’re going to Karma tonight and I can freaking wait.

Deena : Even though you a little off you’re a game, your still gonna bring back b#@ches tonight and have sex… I’m just saying. (to Pauly)

Jenni “JWOWW”: Wow you look really good. Snooki – would you bang me? Jenni – bent over and sideways.

Snooki : It’s important to look your hottest the first night of Karma, just because if you don’t look hot the first night of Karma, karma will get you.

Snooki : And because Jionni is gonna be there, I need to do stuff to make me look good (BBBUUURRRPPP).

Deena : I don’t know who I’m gonna make out with but it’s gonna be someone good.

Snooki : My va$#na keeps @#$%*g up.

Pauly D : I’m wearing my favorite necklace my favorite watch, fresh to death.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I don’t think Karma’s ready for us.

Pauly D : So we’re back at Karma kids.

Deena : Damian is in the right place at the right time, maybe he’ll get the golden ticket.

Snooki : Oh my god I’m gonna like cook you, like, chicken cutlets and stuff like that. (to Jionni)

Ronnie: Snooki is wasted off her face, and Jionni is definitely pissed because he has to babysit Nicole.

Jionni: Babe your whole f$#king a$$ is out. (to Snooki)

Ronnie: It’s not like you’re with your girlfriend, It’s like you’re taking care of your child. (about Jionni and Snooki)

Pauly D : Shantel is like the definition of DTF, she’s so DTF right now it’s like not even funny.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m leaving with no girl, I was getting pissed and I was like wow, this might happen right now.

Mike “The Situation”: It was almost like Joe Montana, 20 seconds left in the fourth quarter, I throw the pass… Paula catches it.

Pauly D : Yo these are my rims, they’re 22’s son.

Jionni: That’s called seamen.

Pauly D : Shantel – I’m gonna lay you on the bed and… do you.

Pauly D : Smush was good but, it’s time for Shantel to leave and I gotta call her a cab.

Pauly D : I don’t have an hour, she’s gonna die. (to cab guy on phone)

Pauly D : I’m like, it’s 4 in the morning how many cabs could be out right now?

Pauly D : I don’t know if this girl wants to hang around, but I definitely don’t want her to hang around.

Snooki : I’m thinking like, the girl you brought home last night stole your chain, obvi.

Snooki : She probably stuffed it in her a$$ crack. (about Pauly’s missing chain)

Pauly D : I see my diamond chain glistening in the sun looking all perfect and I’m like thank god.

Pauly D : Shantel – I have no idea, I was like, honestly, I woke up this morning and I’m like oh, what the hell. (about having Pauly’s chain)

Pauly D : She’s all happy like oh I forgot to give you this back, I’m like, you got to be kidding me!

Pauly D : This is what I get for going into the nasty a$$ smush room, I’ll never go into the smush room again.

Snooki : I feel like the girl probably took Pauly’s chain so the next day she could come back again and try an smash… I would do that.

Pauly D : So she lost her dignity, her self respect, so what the hell do you need shoes for? (about Shantel)

Pauly D : So I’m now coming up with a new plan, whenever a girl leaves the house, I’m gonna hug her and pat her down at the same exact time.

Pauly D : I’m not drinking for the rest of my life, until tonight.

Ronnie: Want to go on the ferris wheel and make out? (to Vinnie)

Vinny : I have a choice, either not react to the craziness going on around me or remove myself, either way I have a choice.

Snooki : I’m not gonna drink at the club. (Deena starts laughing)

Deena : Doing eye lashes when your buzzed is not a good time.

Snooki : Did it hurt when you made out with that girl last night? (to Pauly D)

Pauly D : Just go, I’ll talk to him and ill just come meet yous guys later or whatever.

Vinny : Can we sext? (to Pauly D)

Pauly D : You gonna leave me with the situation? Vinny – That’s your cousin.

Pauly D : I just want to grab onto my dude and be like, don’t go, don’t leave me.

Jenni “JWOWW”: [about being back to America] I want a big, fat burger!

Ronnie: I feel like Italy was boarding school and America is my mother. And I’m coming home to my mother.

Snooki : My bed is my bed and I peed in it last year, so who would want to sleep in that bed?

Pauly D : Look at my duck phone. [happy to be back in Jersey house]

Deena : Are the hermit crabs still here?

Pauly D : Me and Vinny are so excited that Vinny immediatly jumps on my bed and like dry humps me on my bed just to break it in. Like old times.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m just trying to put it behing me .. and maybe be friends … or not.

Mike “The Situation”: Who wants to room with Mike? Nobody.

Ronnie: If he gets involved in my relationships, I’m going to be forced to put his bed on the porch.

Snooki : I should have taken a shot before we did this [bring luggage in house].

Snooki : I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It’s like an overwhelming feeling I can’t even explain. It’s just weird.

Deena : Ohh. I want Ron Ron Juice.

Snooki : We decided we’re gonna check out the Shore Store becuase we’re gonna be working there. Again!

Danny (Shore Store): This is the palest you’ve ever seen. You’re all Vinny’s color.

Pauly D : It feel great to be back at the T-Shirt shop. As crazy as it sounds, I can’t wait to work again.

Mike “The Situation”: If we don’t GTL, it’s like the end of civilization.

Pauly D : First thing I want to do now that I’m back in America is I want to go tanning. I’m as pale as a ghost. I’m almost as white as Mike’s teeth.

Pauly D : I’m getting pale by the minute.

Mike “The Situation”: This is a serious situation … We’re losing weight and getting pale, it’s like the end of civilization.

Pauly D : I want to shock my system. I’m tanorexic, bro.

Pauly D : I have an emergency. I have an emergency. [I need] the strongest lotion you have and the max time, and I want to go twice.

Pauly D : Ohh Yeahhh. Tanning. Yeahh..

Pauly D : I’m 14 days behing my game. I need to get back to bussiness. [talking about tanning]

Ronnie: I feel like I’m in heaven because I get to GTL again.

Pauly D : This is America. I can breathe. I smell the smog. I love it.

Ronnie: [about Vinny] He’s officially a Guido now.

Ronnie: Vinny’s haircut is a mixture between a mullet, a mohawk, and a faux hawk. I don’t even know what to call that. But it looks good on him.

Snooki : Vin’s a juice head … in training.

Snooki : I don’t want to go to a bar and drink with my boss. BUT, hopefully he’s paying for the drinks.

Jenni “JWOWW”: How many cars are here? Five? How lame.

Vinny : I see an empty bar, and then all of a sudden: Surprise!

Jenni “JWOWW”: There’s unfinished business … You have Gionni with Vinny, Gionni with Mike. Tonight can get ugly real quick.

Pauly D : Uncle Nino is back. He’s drunk. He’s hitting on every girl in the place.

Ronnie: Uncle Nino is the ultimate creep. I feel he should be in this house with us. Honestly, I feel he should get the smoosh room.

Mike “The Situation”: Snooki is going to be drinking and there’s gonna be drama.

Mike “The Situation”: Everybody knows the story, but now the witnesses are here. It’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out.

Mike “The Situation”: Nicole is going off saying really mean things. It’s probably the stupidest thing you can do because this is the key witness to the crime.

Mike “The Situation”: He will say something, if you keep saying something.

Vinny : Just seeing my family puts the washing machine on overload.

Mike “The Situation”: This is Hurricane Situation and it’s heading straight for Snooki Island.

Mike “The Situation”: [talking to The Unit]: It’s the best you’ve ever looked. It’s nasty.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Oh My God. Let’s be real. I feel like Mike has … tendencies.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Mike normally wifes up his grenades this way. Is he doing that with The Unit?

Jenni “JWOWW”: [re Mike's overuse of Cologne] Is it supposed to smell like skunk up here?

Mike “The Situation”: Snooki knows what’s going on. So she eliminates Gionni from the equation. She hid the whole night.

Pauly D : [to Ryder] What’s up my ninja?

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Ryder is really riding around town in this house: Vinny, The Unit, now Pauly.

Pauly D : Ryder is looking pretty good tonight, but she’s already had sex with Vinny and I’m not really cool with sloppy seconds, so I don’t know what do to

with her.

Pauly D : Whether you’re the first man in, or the last man in: Ryder.

Vinny : Everybody ride her, just like a bus driver.

Vinny : Ryder’s f***** everybody in the house, if she f**** Ronnie, it’s like guido bingo.

Snooki : That’s not me … apologizing and admitting I’m wrong.

Snooki : I have a little bit of angry issues.

Ronnie: [about Vinny been Momma's Boy] I’m hungry: his mom cooks him dinner. I’m dirty: his mom wipes his ass. Vinny needs to man up and move on.

Vinny : I’m feeling a little better now and feel like going to Aztec and develop a little Seaside momentum.

Pauly D : [about club Aztec] It’s a war out there. There’s a lot of grenades.

Pauly D : [at club Aztec] Ew, what the hell. She’s battling you! She’s battling you!

Deena : Vin’s in a funk since the suprize party and I feel bad for him. Like, I dont want anybody in a funk, because their funk puts me in a funk because they’re

in a funk and I dont want anybody to be in a funk!!

Pauly D : [leaving club with Vinny] Bro’s before hoes.

Vinny : I have nothing left to give. I want to go home.

New Year’s Resolution: Quit smoking.
“I don’t want to set myself up for dis­aster; I’ve tried and failed before.”

JWOWW Ink:
“I have three tattoos: one for my grandma, one for my grandpa, and a dragon.”

Party town: Las Vegas.
“I don’t gamble, but I love the nightlife.”

Starstruck:
“I met Lady Gaga. She said she was happy we don’t change for anyone.”

What’s next?
“Me and Snooki just started filming a spin-off. I hope we go on a road trip.”

Worst hangover:
“The first time I drank Bacardi 151. I remember hugging the toilet.”

Hangover cure:
“Don’t drink 151.”

Maxim:
You’ve been in Maxim three times now, but this is your first cover. How does it feel?

JWOWW:
I cried when I found out. I was jumping up and down and totally bugging out. This is probably my highest accomplishment.

Maxim:
Well, you look incredible.

JWOWW:
Thanks! This is the most fun I’ve ever had on a shoot, because it was Jersey Shore meets sexy Maxim. That’s what I loved about it.

Maxim:
So let’s talk about Italy.

JWOWW:
It was insane. As everyone got to see, it was very dramatic. I’m glad we’re going back to the Shore now, because Italy was hard.

Maxim:
You guys were pretty isolated over there. You couldn’t escape each other.

JWOWW:
We definitely had to rely on each other, which made our relationships stronger, but also made us more sick of each other. Temperatures were running high. People were fighting. Heads were hitting walls.

Maxim:
Was that scary?

JWOWW:
Yeah. Even rewatching it is pretty intense! It’s very emotional, and I was there and lived it. But we’re fine now, and that’s the best thing about us. We watch it together and laugh at what we went through.

Source: Maxim.com

Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornament Set

Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornaments:

• Goldtone hanging loop attached
• Each is ready to hang right out of the box
• Perfect for fans of the TV show

Snooki Claus

10 Cards and Envelopes Boxed Holiday Christmas Greeting Cards

Snooki’s favorite food is also a Christmas Tree Ornament: