It’s going to be a good one!!

Source: MTV

Pauly D : Three, two, one, and cue the scream…

Pauly D : I wonder what the poor people are doing?

Pauly D : Mike looks even dumber than he normally looks.

Pauly D : Mike looks even dumber than he normally looks.

Pauly D : We are prank war champions!

Pauly D : My man Mike can dish but he can’t freaking take it… it’s sad.

Snooki : Mike’s nickname should be changed from “The Situation” to “Bitchuation”

Deena : Oh my god, if they get married or something, I’m gonna be part of Mike’s family… What the hell!

Deena : So I got the lady’s on blast, I call this one devil and this one angel.

Pauly D : Holy boobs!

Pauly D : Yo, that t-shirt’s screaming, “I don’t fit you” (to Vinny).

Vinny : I’m always intrigued to talk to lesbians, you know, we share a common interest in these girls.

Pauly D : Two lesbians is the holy grail of hooking up.

Vinny : It’s not everyday that two lesbians want to have a threesome with you, and I’m getting denied the smush room.

Ronnie: Bro, I’m doing you a favor, did you look at these girls, did you look at their faces, one of them looks like Mathew McConaughey.

Pauly D : My man Vinny is about to do the impossible, he’s gonna try to turn these two lesbians straight.

Pauly D : This isn’t gonna be an easy smush, call the cabs when you’re done. It’s gonna take a lot of work, and he’s not gonna get any sleep.

Vinny : This is the moment where heroes are made. They write history books about this s$#t.

Vinny : I’ve been at some really low points this summer. But I just f#$ked two lesbians, life is great.

Vinny : It’s like something on my bucket list to do… well my f#$kit list.

Deena : Do we have like a hurricane shelter?

Pauly D : I don’t want to get lightning in my hair.

Deena : You almost got strucken!

Deena : Oh my god that’s a tornado whistle.

Deena : I’m taking cover. I saw the wizard of oz, I don’t want to be like Dorothy, up swinging all over the freaking sky with my dog and stuff.

Pauly D : I ain’t even mad that the cabs are here and no one cares! I ain’t even mad!

Deena : Karma’s out of control, it’s like burmp burmp burmpadur.

Mike “The Situation”: I may even spend holidays with Deena. Image that holiday conversation.

Pauly D : It’s like Ronnie’s car on a Friday night (talking about the house being filled with smoke).

Mike “The Situation”: I’m gonna miss wine bottles being thrown at my head. Pauly: I’m gonna miss wine bottles being thrown at your head too.

Pauly D : I had to get my b!t#h back (about Vinny).

Mike “The Situation”: Yeah, of course this is Sammi’s favorite summer. This is the first summer she’s not fighting with Ron every single second.

Pauly D : Once again, the plan for the girls to prank us backfired. They should just stop before they really get hurt.

Vinny : Yo let’s leave here there until next summer (about Deena in the jacuzzi).

Pauly D : It’s my last day here and everybody’s sleeping, so I gotta do my thing and wake this house up.

Jenni “JWOWW”: One thing I will never miss in this house is waking up to Pauly’s “Oh yeah wake up yeah s&$t.”

Vinny : Sam and Rons gone so we got the smush room back.

Vinny : This is you babe, I don’t know how this is gonna fit. Vinny: That’s what she said.

Mike “The Situation”: What I’ve been dying to know for the last three summers is, are Jenni’s boobs real?

Snooki : Bye smush, bye STDs.

Snooki : Up, there’s a piss stain.

Mike “The Situation”: Another man tells you that your girl cheated on you, and you don’t say nothing at all.

Jionni: Did I rise? Snooki: Did you? (feeling Jionni)

Ronnie: It’s like, how you doing, Jionni, this morning? Bacon, egg, and cheese? Your girl blew me… ok awesome. (about Mike)

Snooki : Actually no because I want you to go f#$king die and rot in a hole. Mike: That’s not very nice Nicole.

Mike “The Situation”: Don’t throw those pickles, they’re fresh. (to Snooki)

Pauly D : In Jionni’s head right now, he won’t say this because he’s a pu$$y, but, ‘I don’t give a $h!t who she bangs I’m banging everybody on my side anyway’.

Mike “The Situation”: They’re meant to be, he took it on the chin just like she did.

Snooki : Me and Jionni are getting married I feel, when he proposes. And I don’t know when that is but he better do it within the future.

Snooki : Ok it’s on like Donkey Kong b!$ch.

Vinny : The food fight is not fun anymore, it is personal.

Pauly D : Watch my freshies, watch my freshies (as he lays on his shoes).

Mike “The Situation”: Listen, I can’t hear you your mouth is full of s$!t kinda like another time.

Vinny : All the sudden my name gets brought into the conversation… Like what th f#$k did we do?

Snooki : I feel like I still smell like ketchup.

Snooki : A bonjo. Deena: Yeah like a banjo. Snooki: A bango.

Pauly D : Sometimes you gotta put sleeping aside bro, get your GTL on.

Vinny : Deena, sit down here you little b!$ch.

Vinny : That’s right, you ask him, then he asks me, then I tell you.

Pauly D : YOU KNOW WHAT, DATE THIS F#@KING KID! (to Deena)

Pauly D : Busted, big time, you’re dead (when Jenni’s on the phone with Joey).

Pauly D : My man Vinny um felt hungry, and wanted a big snack. Because he wanted a little bit of a thicker chick I guess. I wanted to back up my man, so I brought home two chicks just in case.

Vinny : I choose to stick with the thick girl over the cute girl that Pauly brings home because hot girls are boring a lot of the times. They sit there, ‘I’m hot I don’t have to do anything’, I want some variety in my diet.

Pauly D : I’m not into the whole, sleeping outside, no bathroom, no mirror, can’t do my blowout.

Pauly D : Me and Vinny just wanted the house to ourselves, because we’re gonna prank the s@#t outta them.

Ronnie: You got some uh, camping tents?

Mike “The Situation”: It takes a lot to pitch my tent.

Ronnie: Mike’s tent is immaculate, I can’t believe he has the brain span to actually build a good tent.

Ronnie: I’m from the Bronx, ok. The closest thing I see to people camping out side are homeless people.

Pauly D : This kiddy pool is no joke, but, team work makes the dream work.

Pauly D : Not bad for a DJ and a couple of t-shirt pressers.

Deena : Mike put down the freaking fire. He’s like one of those people, a hermaphrodite or whatever it is.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Are you in your paranoid state Mike?

Mike “The Situation”: I keep hearing noises. Jenni: Because we’re in the woods. Mike: That’s true.

Mike “The Situation”: There is no gym, there is no tanning salon, and you can’t do your laundry (about camping).

Pauly D : We changed the whole house inside out. We put the inside outside, the outside inside, the inside outside, the outside inside, so now our inside deck is now our outside deck and our outside deck is now our inside deck . Basically, we pranked the whole house. I told them not to go camping.

Vinny : This is where warriors are made of right here.

On Wednesday, Jionni tweeted about the pregnancy and revealed the nickname of the soon to be mini-meatball, “Sorry about that wait but glad everyone’s happy!! Nicole and I are real excited!! Our baby is going to be #ShortnTan.”

So there you have it. In just 9 short months, a new cast member will be joining the roommates at Seaside Heights… ShortnTan!

Good luck world!

Source: OMG!

Source: Yahoo TV

Pauly D : You don’t walk around here like you can just take my man on dates (to Snooki).

Pauly D : Yo, stop trying to get in my man’s pants (to Snooki).

Snooki : Toodle-pants

Pauly D : Whoa phone’s ringing.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m just so good with women, there definitely should be a butter named after me because I’m so smooth.

Mike “The Situation”: It’s now or never. Situation don’t do appointments for next time.

Pauly D : Come to find out she has like her friends this month, and um, it is what it is.

Pauly D : I definitely don’t want her to hang around, take your girl and your tampons with ya.

Mike “The Situation”: In the guido world, protein is like money.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m giving out protein powder, I’m trying to better your life.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger’s coming tonight so I’m gonna go to the sex store.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: I don’t know what’s going on, I just feel like I’m psychic half the time and I got feelings.

Mike “The Situation”: My Shore Store performance is on, you know, mythical proportions today.

Ronnie: Mike’s actually working today, I was surprised.

Pauly D : Is it possible to be too fresh, because if it is, I am and I don’t want you to get drowned out by my freshness.

Vinny : I was killing it in pool yesterday. Pauly D: Yeah… you were playing Snooki.

Pauly D : It’s like couples retreat. I feel like I need to be in a relationship in the house. Vinny: That’s why we’re in a relationship.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I’m so gross I can’t wait to shower.

Vinny : Single gang or die.

Pauly D : Hey I just got pregnant.

Vinny : Dude I just had one of Mike’s babies on my chin. Pauly D: How’s that different from any other night?

Vinny : You didn’t see anything. Say one word to anyone I’ll f#$king kill you (to Sammi).

Pauly D : What’s next on our list of bringing our Shore house back?

Vinny : This is a Shore house, this is not an old age home.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I will make it very special for Rodger on our one year anniversary and of course I’m gonna have sex with Rodger. You know that’s what like old couples do, they have their one time a year.

Pauly D : Look at this guy, where is your tan Vanilla Ice? (to Vinny)

Pauly D : Your sister was nice enough to give you her whole outfit, shoes and all! (to Vinny)

Vinny : Rodger: I loved you in the Dukes of Hazard (to Vinny).

Mike “The Situation”: I can just see the future, I’m situtradamus, this is gonna get bad.

Get ready world… MINI MEATBALL!!!

Source: NY Post

Pauly D : I don’t know what’s going on in this guys head right now. You keep it moving, you don’t want to fight with Rodger.

Ronnie: At Karma, you can either walk out the door or get thrown out the door.

Snooki : I’m really excited, you know, to touch his w!#ner and make out and get it in (about Jionni).

Snooki : Honesty, you know, if Jionni’s sick or whatever, I feel bad but I wanna f#$king get it in with my boyfriend, so why the f#$k are you puking right now, let’s have sex.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: My girl had to poop. I had to wait.

Ronnie: I thought gorillas only ate bananas (to Rodger).

Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: Have you met my friend half-pint (about Ronnie).

Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: Have you met my friend half-pint (about Ronnie).

Ronnie: I feel like if my girlfriend complained as much as she did, I’d probably lose my phone too (to Rodger).

Jenni “JWOWW”: Rodger: She thought I was gonna call and kiss her ass, it ain’t gonna happen. Alright I gotta go before I get my ass kicked.

Snooki : Jionni’s wasted right now, but I feel like I never see you so lets just f$#king bang it out.

Snooki : A boyfriend’s job is to come over, have sex, and you know, make your girlfriend feel good, and at this point Jionni’s not making me feel good, he’s throwing up and passing out in my bed.

Deena : I mean do you really need talent to fish though? You just throw the thing in the thing.

Deena : Can you imagine though, eight guido’s trying to fish.

Vinny : I already got crabs last night out at Karma.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Got an extra bucket to throw up in (to crab guy).

Pauly D : Yo I’m gonna catch me Sunday dinner.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I caught a guido!

Pauly D : Yo, why can’t I just put Snooki on this hook, catch me a big fish?

Pauly D : Crabs are here!

Jenni “JWOWW”: I don’t even want to say it. Snooki: What? Jenni: I caught crabs.

Mike “The Situation”: Yo this ain’t happening. Guidos ain’t made to fish. I can fish for girls but not f#@king for fish.

Vinny : Mike’s just like, spread-eagle right now in one of his feminine poses.

Deena : I feel like this is like my relationships, not one person wants to grab my bait.

Ronnie: So I let the air out of the boat, arms are flying in the air, there’s meatball sauce everywhere.

Snooki : This boat is sinking and I’ve seen titanic and this is not going to end well.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Deena is literally trying to get out of three feet of water because there’s sharks in it.

Pauly D : Yo, Snooki’s all through these waters.

Pauly D : You know how you catch a Snooki, pickles!

Mike “The Situation”: He’s working hard in there, his insides are coming out.

Pauly D : She doesn’t talk, but yet stalks.

Pauly D : She’ll work my entire shift at the t-shirt shop just staring at me.

Pauly D : And I’m freaked out because she stares right at me with this like that I can feel burning a hole in my head and it’s messing with my blowout.

Vinny : Oh it stands for Down to Fish (when asked what DTF stands for)

Snooki : I’ll shoot you with a pistol in your f#$king eyeball.

Snooki : Yeah buddy, I know how to work my balls.

Snooki : Even though I lost the bet and I have to wear the bunny suit to Karma, it’s not really a big deal because Lola is like my best friend.

Vinny : I might want to reconsider having sex with you right now. You should just always leave the mask on (to Snooki).

Vinny : Stripper, prostitute, bunny, Lola, is pretty hot tonight, I think.

Deena : Lola is definitely the most popular girl at Karma tonight, I’m a little jealous, I’m gonna have to bring her home tonight for myself.

Mike “The Situation”: I actually am like the hunter and gatherer at the house, when it comes to ladies.

Snooki : I kinda wanna, you know, break a law or two tonight.

Deena : So the only difference between the meatballs and Baywatch right now is the red bathing suits, and David Hasselhoff.

Snooki : Holy buttsack I’m tired.

Snooki : This morning I feel like freaking a$$, like I’m still drunk, but it’s like, you know the drunk where you wanna throw up and you feel disgusting, I’d rather just drink it off.

Snooki : Ronnie looks like s$!t right now and I’m like bro, you’re hung over, we need to go to the bar and fix that.

Ronnie: I just see Snooki’s head floating.

Ronnie: To average people, that’s a mini-bike, to Nicole, that’s like a normal motorcycle.

Pauly D : I got the night shift tonight, it’s me, Situation, and Jenni, so I expect to be doing most of the work.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Pauly, your girl is creeping me out right now. Pauly D: Me too.

Pauly D : This girl is going to kill me, she’s gonna kidnap me, put me in her basement, have me DJ for her, and I’m gonna be MIA, you guys are gonna be looking for me.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Pauly’s stalker officially scares me.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I think the blanket is wrapped around something heavy, it’s either Pauly’s hair, or it’s a chainsaw (about Vanessa).

Pauly D : It’s not Pauly D anymore, it’s gonna be DJ Pauly Dead!

Vinny : If Nicole is breathing and Nicole is conscious, she’s probably talking about sex.

Vinny : I’m on the boardwalk with Nicole wasted right now, and, this is kinda questionable what I’m doing.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I wasn’t looking at Rodger’s side of things, I was looking at my spoiled a$$*s side.

Deena : Rodger’s like 65 years old, so, he’s not gonna be playing all these baby games.

Vinny : I can’t believe you didn’t go back to your shifts. Snooki: We got drunk that’s why.

Deena : We’re putting some meatball love into this cake.

Deena : Oh my god, we didn’t even put it in (talking about the cake for Danny).

Deena : Then we just lost track of time. I’ll be honest I forgot we were even at work after a while.

Deena : Right now I feel really mad whore with this sleeve. Nobody better mess with me cause I’m tough.

Snooki : No I don’t have rectal bleeding.

Snooki : How you supposed to have fun at the shore without drinking?

Snooki : Say I only had one drink (to the Dr.). Dr: That’s fine. Snooki: I’ll get a nice big strong one.

Mike “The Situation”: I wasn’t totally like running them over with the bus but I was definitely telling Danny like, I don’t know where they are, they should be here.

Snooki : This is freaking retail abuse.

Snooki : I’m too pretty for this $hit.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m actually guilty in this house until proven innocent.

Pauly D : I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t help it! (about eating the cake)

Pauly D : The second I heard Deena go to sleep, I tiptoed right into the kitchen, got myself a spoon, and I ate myself a piece of that cake.

Pauly D : Don’t cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat.

Deena : I feel kinda bad, that I blamed Mike the whole time for the cake. It’s like, the kid kinda does get blamed for everything.

Mike “The Situation”: I feel like the mean Mike is about to come out, and you’re not gonna like it.

Mike “The Situation”: Looks like the master plan was derailed for another night.

Snooki : Uh I look like a Jersey skank, and I love it.

Snooki : Here comes the shots and this is where it starts.

Snooki : My doctor said not to drink a lot, but I knew it was gonna be so hard not to drink, so I just gave in and I drank, and I drank, and I drank.

Snooki : Honestly, I drank so much that my UTI is drunk, I’m happy, he’s happy, everybody’s happy.

Mike “The Situation”: Paula: Tell me if I have camel toe.

Pauly D : If it’s your birthday, you’re allowed to have camel toe Paula. If it was my birthday, I would have camel toe too.

Pauly D : We just completed the trifecta, gym, tan, laundry.

Vinny : I’m definitely not breaking up with Pauly, we’re in a committed relationship, me and Pauly, we’re gonna take this thing to the next level forever.

Pauly D : Yep, Vinny’s my dude, we’re like the meatballs, except, we’re not meatballs.

Pauly D : Me and Vinny going to muscle maker, it is definitely a date.

Vinny : Hopefully, I get it in later.

Pauly D : This is why I don’t let my man Vinny drive. You only have one job when your driving, hold on to the keys, he couldn’t even do that.

Ronnie: I hear the music and my feet just start going, I got like Gumby ankles.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m definitely flirting with her right now, I’m just gonna keep pushing the envelope until she bends, or blows, one or the other.

Snooki : I have no idea how to speak clock language, so when I say what time is it and someone says it’s quarter past two, just say its two-thirty.

Pauly D : I flipped the script on her, laid down the guilt trip, and now she’s trying to apologize to me and ask why I’m mad at her (about Deena).

Snooki : I have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m not thinking, I’m just talking.

Snooki : I just wanna see Deena and Joey have sex, I mean I’m bored.

Deena : I don’t know if my back hurts from, you know giving up my gold ticket, or Jersey turnpiking so much.

Deena : Joey may have banged my back out of alignment.

Pauly D : Yo if you hurt your back Jersey turnpiking, that’s Deena problems, and I love it.

Mike “The Situation”: I do owe Jionni the truth. I feel bad, you know every time his kissing his girl, you know, he’s like kissing my…

Jenni “JWOWW”: I am wearing this outfit tonight to show Rodger that there are two, big reasons that he is still with me.

Snooki : Don’t let a boob slip.

Jenni “JWOWW”: I’m so paranoid that this dress is gonna snap and my boobs are gonna come popping out.