Nothing But Nice : Jersey Shore Quotes S5E5

Vinny’s back. All is back to normal, except Mike makes the extra effort to be especially nice to everyone in the house but feels like everyone is still plotting against him. Snooki meanwhile struggles with nature’s call. The cast members later play a joke on Snooki who has the memory of a fish, according to Ronnie.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: We barged into Vinny’s house like we were a SWAT team.


Pauly D : I got my boyfriend back! I get the smush room!

Vinny : I’m trying to get laid tonight!

Deena : Merp, Merp, Merrrp, Merrrp, MERP! We needed Vinny back in this house.

Snooki : [Speaking and looking at herself in the mirror] Don’t judge me!

Mike “The Situation”: [Getting tattoes on forearms saying] Loyalty and Betrayal. Yeah, so [I] always remember who [had my] back and

who didn’t.

Ronnie: Mike knows nothing about loyalty and knows everything about betrayal.

Snooki : I f******* peed on myself. [at club Karma]. I got excited dancing with my girls and I legit peed myself. Don’t tell anybody.

Snooki : I need perfume… Honestly, I don’t care… that’s still considered a shower [spraying lots of perfume on self].

Snooki : Don’t call me dirty. I’m not dirty. I smell phenomenal.

Deena : [to Vinny] I Love You! | Vinny: All right. | Deena: Say it back.

Snooki : Party foul times ten. [throwing her underwear into trash]

Deena : I got electrocuted. Does that mean you get all f**** up? | Sammi: What do you mean?

Deena : I think wall electrocutions are electronic. | Sammi: You just got a little zap.

Pauly D : If you look up the word too much swag in the dictionary… It’ll be a great big picture of my face.

Snooki : OMG! I should be on the fashion runway.

Snooki : Something funky is going on. Like, I can’t control my bladder.

Snooki : UTI doesn’t stand for Ultimate Tanning Institute…

Snooki : I have UTI and it hurts like balls … Or I’m pregnant.

Deena : We’re actually dressed pretty well. Nothing’s showing.

Pauly D : [talking to Ronnie] You can’t play baseball. You have too much bicep.

Snooki : [at batting cage] I hate balls thrown at me. I just want them in my …

Snooki and Deena: Fun Cab! You’re in the fun cab! [jumping up and down]

Mike “The Situation”: Gym, Tan, I need some Clearasil.

Jenni “JWOWW”: All I see is Mike’s pants unzipped and his wiener barely hanging out. What the hell is going on?

Vinny : I swear to god it’s talking to me bro.

Jenni “JWOWW”: That’s why I’m weirded out and starting at Ronnie

Mike “The Situation”: I feel like it’s time to be bad. Instead of “The Situation” it’s “The Confrontation”

Deena : I’m going to lure them in, and she’ll ransack them. Is that a word? Ransack?

Pauly D : Snooki is this super sex crazed bunny. Scary.

Ronnie: It’s a memory game and we know Snooki has the memory span of a fish.

Snooki : This is a weird game but I’ll play it.

Pauly D : Snooki is covered in back soot and it’s the best day of my life.

Deena : Mike is definetly Jekyll and Hyde.

Mike “The Situation”: We’re finding out who the real trouble maker is … and it’s Snooki.

Dropping Like Flies : Season 5 Episode 3

Pauly D’s buddy, Vinny, taps out. He’s been feeling down ever since returning from Italy. After a get together with family members, he starts feeling overwhelming anxiety and decides to leave the house. Ronnie wears skinny jeans to honor Vinny, Pauly D hooks up with a tattooed chick. On Pauly’s (and Mike’s) B-day, Mike gets no love from the house members and it appears to saddened him to the point where he also leaves? Dropping Like Flies.

Pauly D : I just want to grab onto my dude and go ‘Don’t Go, Don’t Go, Don’t Leave Me.’


Pauly D : At this point, my man leaves me. I gotta go tell the rest of the household that he may not be coming back.

Jenni “JWOWW”: That was the last thing I thought was gonna happen.

Jenni “JWOWW”: Deena overreacts about everythings … Hearing that Vinny stubbed his toe, she might have cried.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m like a shopper at a store, I see something I like and it’s ‘Come with me’.

Pauly D : I would have used the grenade camera on the girl Situation brought home but I had to get this cute girl to get it in for my man Vinny.

Vinny : I had to come home. Mom: Okay. That’s good.

Vinny : I had a lot of anxiety over there, so… I had to deal with it over here, you know. It wasn’t the right environment for me to be in… it was

too much.

Mike “The Situation”: We got Situation nation coming down tonight.

Snooki : We’re not going to remember it. We’re probably gonna make out. Team Meat Balls!

Snooki : I feel like today is a perfect Meat Ball day. Let’s just get wasty pants.

Snooki : Oh my God, I’m going to get in so much trouble. Jionni’s going to kill me.

Deena : We met this awesome gay guy. You’re gay right? I love gay men. Love them! I can hang out with gay men all freaking day.

Snooki : I’m mad drunk right now. | Deena: Can you walk at all?

Deena : You know it’s bad when I’m the sober one.

Deena : Now’s it’s two meat balls on the loose and we’re completely not in the state of mind we should be.

Snooki : [regarding Aztec clubbers] We’re the f****** veterans and I’ll show you how it’s done.

Deena : At that point, once we fell, I felt there’s no coming back from this one.

Mike “The Situation”: [to Deena] Your a** is hanging out. Are you for real. What corner was you working tonight?

Snooki : Deena’s hair is f****** disgusting right now. You might as well go Britney Spears and shave it off.

Deena : It’s like fingerprints, how are you going to tell a guidette apart without her extensions?

Ronnie: In memory of Vinny, I’m rocking skinny jeans.

Pauly D : [about tattooed chick] She’s ready to go. No work involved.

Pauly D : I’m going to smash this tattooed chick in my man Vinny’s bed. In honor of my man Vinny for leaving the house.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m tired of being the bad dude, I don’t know if I can do it anymore.

Mike “The Situation”: Gym Tan Tell the truth.

Pauly D : [about tattooed chick] This girl is Vinny’s type to a T… So I smooshed her as a perfect way to honor Vinny.

Pauly D : [on the phone] How are you? | Girl: Fine | Pauly: How are the Kids? | Girl: Huh? | Pauly: Can I have a cab?

Mike “The Situation”: [to Shore Store customer] You need any help? She’s right there [points to Snooki sleeping].

Bosnian Girl: [gives number to The Situation] I want grill cheese. In the morning. No Crust.

Pauly D : [to Vinny] I smooshed a girl in your bed. She was a couger with tattoes.

Pauly D : This Bosnian chick is so persistent. This chick must want to do something.

Deena : Even though I look like a nut case, I’m really a good girl.

Pauly D : [to Bosnian girl] You can come to bed or I can call you a cab. It’s up to you.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Pauly is about to go to bed and this poor girl looks like a lost puppy. She doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Bosnian Girl: Can we just talk in the room? | Pauly D: I’ll call the cab.

Pauly D : I have NO TIME to talk to anybody at 4 in the morning. It should be against the law to come to my house at 4 in the morning on my birthday and not give me birthday sex.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: I actually like Paula. She might be dirty, grimy, and disgusting but she’s just a nice girl.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Who does this girl think she is .. You’re not DTF with Pauly? Really, you’re DTF with Mike? That’s absourd, that’s just


Mike “The Situation”: [about Paula] She’s like Triple A. You call her and she’s there.

Pauly D : My mother pulled together and made it happen. She brought my barber here to cut my hair for my birthday. Best gift I’ve had in my


Deena : I know I’m not the smartest crayon… [but] we can make a party.

Ronnie: The lobster the size of snookie.

Mike “The Situation”: Of course, the girls made Pauly a cake. I must be the devil in this house… Pauly’s the good guy, and it seems I’m the bad

guy a lot of the times.

Snooki : Uh, my a** is, like, protruding… Protruding. The word of the day. Use it.

Mike “The Situation”: I wear my heart on my sleeve and it hurts me to think that people don’t care.

Snooki : Dropping like flies. [Vinny left, now Mike leaves?]

Hurricane Situation : Jersey Shore Season 5 Episode 1

The crew is back to Seaside. First up, back to GTL. Then they have a surprise party with friends and family. Uncle Nino joins the party, hitting on all the girls. Mike is back to his old tricks trying to come between Snooki and Gionni, and Vinny feels down seeing his family.

Jenni “JWOWW”: [about being back to America] I want a big, fat burger!


Ronnie: I feel like Italy was boarding school and America is my mother. And I’m coming home to my mother.

Snooki : My bed is my bed and I peed in it last year, so who would want to sleep in that bed?

Pauly D : Look at my duck phone. [happy to be back in Jersey house]

Deena : Are the hermit crabs still here?

Pauly D : Me and Vinny are so excited that Vinny immediatly jumps on my bed and like dry humps me on my bed just to break it in. Like old times.

Mike “The Situation”: I’m just trying to put it behing me .. and maybe be friends … or not.

Mike “The Situation”: Who wants to room with Mike? Nobody.

Ronnie: If he gets involved in my relationships, I’m going to be forced to put his bed on the porch.

Snooki : I should have taken a shot before we did this [bring luggage in house].

Snooki : I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It’s like an overwhelming feeling I can’t even explain. It’s just weird.

Deena : Ohh. I want Ron Ron Juice.

Snooki : We decided we’re gonna check out the Shore Store becuase we’re gonna be working there. Again!

Danny (Shore Store): This is the palest you’ve ever seen. You’re all Vinny’s color.

Pauly D : It feel great to be back at the T-Shirt shop. As crazy as it sounds, I can’t wait to work again.

Mike “The Situation”: If we don’t GTL, it’s like the end of civilization.

Pauly D : First thing I want to do now that I’m back in America is I want to go tanning. I’m as pale as a ghost. I’m almost as white as Mike’s teeth.

Pauly D : I’m getting pale by the minute.

Mike “The Situation”: This is a serious situation … We’re losing weight and getting pale, it’s like the end of civilization.

Pauly D : I want to shock my system. I’m tanorexic, bro.

Pauly D : I have an emergency. I have an emergency. [I need] the strongest lotion you have and the max time, and I want to go twice.

Pauly D : Ohh Yeahhh. Tanning. Yeahh..

Pauly D : I’m 14 days behing my game. I need to get back to bussiness. [talking about tanning]

Ronnie: I feel like I’m in heaven because I get to GTL again.

Pauly D : This is America. I can breathe. I smell the smog. I love it.

Ronnie: [about Vinny] He’s officially a Guido now.

Ronnie: Vinny’s haircut is a mixture between a mullet, a mohawk, and a faux hawk. I don’t even know what to call that. But it looks good on him.

Snooki : Vin’s a juice head … in training.

Snooki : I don’t want to go to a bar and drink with my boss. BUT, hopefully he’s paying for the drinks.

Jenni “JWOWW”: How many cars are here? Five? How lame.

Vinny : I see an empty bar, and then all of a sudden: Surprise!

Jenni “JWOWW”: There’s unfinished business … You have Gionni with Vinny, Gionni with Mike. Tonight can get ugly real quick.

Pauly D : Uncle Nino is back. He’s drunk. He’s hitting on every girl in the place.

Ronnie: Uncle Nino is the ultimate creep. I feel he should be in this house with us. Honestly, I feel he should get the smoosh room.

Mike “The Situation”: Snooki is going to be drinking and there’s gonna be drama.

Mike “The Situation”: Everybody knows the story, but now the witnesses are here. It’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out.

Mike “The Situation”: Nicole is going off saying really mean things. It’s probably the stupidest thing you can do because this is the key witness to the crime.

Mike “The Situation”: He will say something, if you keep saying something.

Vinny : Just seeing my family puts the washing machine on overload.

Mike “The Situation”: This is Hurricane Situation and it’s heading straight for Snooki Island.

Mike “The Situation”: [talking to The Unit]: It’s the best you’ve ever looked. It’s nasty.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Oh My God. Let’s be real. I feel like Mike has … tendencies.

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Mike normally wifes up his grenades this way. Is he doing that with The Unit?

Jenni “JWOWW”: [re Mike’s overuse of Cologne] Is it supposed to smell like skunk up here?

Mike “The Situation”: Snooki knows what’s going on. So she eliminates Gionni from the equation. She hid the whole night.

Pauly D : [to Ryder] What’s up my ninja?

Sammi “Sweetheart”: Ryder is really riding around town in this house: Vinny, The Unit, now Pauly.

Pauly D : Ryder is looking pretty good tonight, but she’s already had sex with Vinny and I’m not really cool with sloppy seconds, so I don’t know what do to

with her.

Pauly D : Whether you’re the first man in, or the last man in: Ryder.

Vinny : Everybody ride her, just like a bus driver.

Vinny : Ryder’s f***** everybody in the house, if she f**** Ronnie, it’s like guido bingo.

Snooki : That’s not me … apologizing and admitting I’m wrong.

Snooki : I have a little bit of angry issues.

Ronnie: [about Vinny been Momma’s Boy] I’m hungry: his mom cooks him dinner. I’m dirty: his mom wipes his ass. Vinny needs to man up and move on.

Vinny : I’m feeling a little better now and feel like going to Aztec and develop a little Seaside momentum.

Pauly D : [about club Aztec] It’s a war out there. There’s a lot of grenades.

Pauly D : [at club Aztec] Ew, what the hell. She’s battling you! She’s battling you!

Deena : Vin’s in a funk since the suprize party and I feel bad for him. Like, I dont want anybody in a funk, because their funk puts me in a funk because they’re

in a funk and I dont want anybody to be in a funk!!

Pauly D : [leaving club with Vinny] Bro’s before hoes.

Vinny : I have nothing left to give. I want to go home.

JWOWW on January 2012 Maxim Cover

JWOWW is going to be on the cover of the magazine for Maxim in January 2012. Below are excerpts from her magazine interview along with tidbits regarding her new years resolution and upcoming items.

New Year’s Resolution: Quit smoking.
“I don’t want to set myself up for dis­aster; I’ve tried and failed before.”

“I have three tattoos: one for my grandma, one for my grandpa, and a dragon.”


Party town: Las Vegas.
“I don’t gamble, but I love the nightlife.”

“I met Lady Gaga. She said she was happy we don’t change for anyone.”

What’s next?
“Me and Snooki just started filming a spin-off. I hope we go on a road trip.”

Worst hangover:
“The first time I drank Bacardi 151. I remember hugging the toilet.”

Hangover cure:
“Don’t drink 151.”

You’ve been in Maxim three times now, but this is your first cover. How does it feel?

I cried when I found out. I was jumping up and down and totally bugging out. This is probably my highest accomplishment.

Well, you look incredible.

Thanks! This is the most fun I’ve ever had on a shoot, because it was Jersey Shore meets sexy Maxim. That’s what I loved about it.

So let’s talk about Italy.

It was insane. As everyone got to see, it was very dramatic. I’m glad we’re going back to the Shore now, because Italy was hard.

You guys were pretty isolated over there. You couldn’t escape each other.

We definitely had to rely on each other, which made our relationships stronger, but also made us more sick of each other. Temperatures were running high. People were fighting. Heads were hitting walls.

Was that scary?

Yeah. Even rewatching it is pretty intense! It’s very emotional, and I was there and lived it. But we’re fine now, and that’s the best thing about us. We watch it together and laugh at what we went through.

jwoww from jersey shore


Cast Member Christmas Tree Ornaments

While you’re waiting for the next Season of Jersey Shore, you can pick up these Christmas Tree Ornaments and Holiday Cards from the Jersey Shore cast members. Or you can pick them up for a Jersey Shore fan.

Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornament Set

Christmas tree ornaments jersey shore cast


Christmas tree ornaments jersey shore cast

Christmas tree ornaments jersey shore cast

Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornaments:

  • Goldtone hanging loop attached
  • Each is ready to hang right out of the box
  • Perfect for fans of the TV show

Snooki Claus

snooki claus
10 Cards and Envelopes Boxed Holiday Christmas Greeting Cards

Snooki’s favorite food is also a Christmas Tree Ornament:

Christmas Tree Ornament

Mike Lawsuit against Abercrombie & Fitch

Jersey Shore cast member Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has a lawsuit against the clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch. Back in August, Abercrombie & Fitch released a press release offering to pay the Jersey Shore cast members, and Mike specifically, to NOT wear their clothing line as they felt it was bad for their image. In the lawsuit, Mike claims that the publicity stunt by Abercrombie & Fitch back in August was used to sell clothes using his trademarked phrases.


In the lawsuit, Mike “The Situation” claims:

Starting in August 2011, Defendant (the company) embarked on a grand, worldwide advertising campaign using Sorrentino’s name, image and likeness to create brand awareness for its products by falsely claiming that Defendant had offered money to Sorrentino if he would stop wearing Defendant’s goods

[Abercrombie & Fitch] has significantly profited off of the use of its false affiliation with Sorrentino, and it has wrongly used Sorrentino’s name, image and likeness for advertising purposes in violation of applicable law.

The lawsuit also claims Abercrombie & Fitch improperly used T-shirt designs featuring the phrases “The Fitchuation” and “GTL…You Know The Deal,” and claims that Abercrombie & Fitch “obviously intended to create a false association” with Mike “The Situation.”

That offer was never made to Sorrentino, nor was it ever conveyed to Sorrentino by a representative

abercrombie and fitch tshirt

JWOWW singled out by TSA Officer

JWOWW was recently at a club called The Hub in Fargo, North Dakota. As she was leaving the city at Fargo’s Hector International Airport, she says that it was “odd” and deliberate that a TSA officer pointed at her while she was getting coffee. She also says that she was “treated like a crimial” by TSA officers and received a pat down.


Here’s what JWOWW Tweeted:

Has anyone got “randomly selected” while walking on the plane and asked to “come with them” to be additionally searched? I wasn’t randomly selected cuz I saw the tsa there pointing at me while I was getting a coffee 15 min prior

I’ve been patted down a bunch n don’t mind but after I’m getting on a plane seems odd and deliberate to me. Hate when people abuse authority

Jersey Shore cast in Las Vegas

Jersey Shore cast member, DJ Pauly D was at GhostBar DayClub at the Palms on Saturday. And what would a party be without a stuffed pinata that resembles Pauly D, complete with his signature hairstyle. Among those at the party was 2010 Miss USA Rima Fakih.

Miss USA


Hopefully party goers at DJ Pauly D’s party had a great time because the Manny Pacquiao vs Juan Manuel Marquez boxing fight at nearby MGM Grand Garden was a complete disappointment. Can you believe they are already discussing a follow-up fight to settle, once and for all, the winner.

That aside, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Vinny Guadagnino’s birthday celebrations are set to also take place is Las Vegas.

Snooki Eau de Parfum with Leopard Print Tote Bag

Snooki Eau de Parfum with Leopard Print Tote Bag Playful, flirty, sweet and sexy, the Snooki namesake fragrance is inspired by Nicole Polizzi’s favorite treats – no, not pickles!

This premiere fragrance embodies the essence of Snooki from head to toe – all 4′ 9″ of her. Involved at every stage of the creation process, Snooki incorporated her signature style in everything from the bold animal print patterns and spike details on the bottle to the delicious notes reminiscent of sweet cotton candy from the boardwalk. To Snooki, it’s simply “the kind of fragrance that makes you hungry for more Snooki.”


Snooki  Eau de Parfum with Leopard Print Tote Bag

Snooki 3.3 fl. oz Eau de Parfum with Leopard Print Tote Bag

What You Get Snooki Eau de Parfum with Leopard Print Tote Bag Includes:
3.3 fl. oz. Snooki by Nicole Polizzi Eau de Parfum Spray
Snooki Leopard Print Tote Bag
Fragrance Details Top Notes: Chilled lychee, quince flower and cool kiwi
Mid Notes: Pink cupcake accord, white jasmine flower and beach flower
Base Notes: Sexy woods, seaside driftwood and sugared musk Classified as a fruity gourmand
Snooki Leopard Print Tote Bag Leopard print vinyl outer Black patent finish trim and handles Fuchsia pink nylon lining Silvertone metal nameplate on front
Measures approx. 16-3/4″L x 13″H x 3″W
Eau de Parfum made in USA; tote bag made in China