The Situation Jersey Shore MTV Reality TV Show Quotes
Season 2
Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3
Episode 3
I don't know how Sammi doesn't know.. I think she has an idea but she doesn't wanna believe it.. it goes back to the day that you thought the tooth fairy was alive.
[Pauly] was like hypnotized, one of the hyenas hypnotized him.
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As soon as we saw [the fake boob], we had to get them outta here, because this is a Grenade Free Zone. - Get the Shirt -
Episode 2
'What should we do with the chicken on the floor????' Pick that sh*t up, dawg!
JWOWW, I've seen her in the gym & she's throwin' out combos.. I've also got a little taste of a smack myself.
I ain’t wearing this shirt when we go out; this is the shirt BEFORE the shirt.
That’s how she is .. a little bit of alcohol & throughout the night it gets worse & worse & worse, until voilà, Mrs. Cockblock of the Century comes out & that’s who she truly is.
Episode 1
Ronnie’s at the club, hooking up with Grenades… that is a bigger-ugly-chick & also Landmines.. which is a thin-ugly-chick .. and um, lovin’ life.
His name is Ronnie, but you can probably call him Sloppy Joe.
Season 1
Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4 | Episode 5
Episode 6 | Episode 7 | Episode 8 | Episode 9 Finale
Episode 1
This is The Situation right here, my abs are so ripped up it's.. we call it The Situation.
You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.
I mean this situation is gonna be indescribable, you can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into the situation.
Episode 2
If you want to look somewhat like The Situation, which is gonna be pretty hard, you need to get that protein in your diet.
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Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal. - Get the Shirt -
With me and Sam, it’s not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me; it’s a matter of just when I decide.
I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook.
Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation.
Episode 3
Angelina was like a half-ass firecracker. It just fizzled out real quick and made a loud noise.
Episode 4
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I got girls back here almost every night, there’s not a time that I don’t have girls coming back. Girls love The Situation.
I'm hooking up with my girl, Pauly's hooking up with his girl & ahh, we're gonna have sex, so, ya know, that's the situation.
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I’m like “chill out, Freckles McGee.” - Get the Shirt -
You better be hittin' the gym & if you're not hittin' the gym for like an hour or so, you know, you may have a problem. Ok, cause I'm at the gym for like an hour-and-a-half.. ya know?.. workin' on my fitness.
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Let’s go, you got a quarter so get outcha car.
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Basically, one of these girls was definitely more cuter than the other and it happened to be my girl & Pauly D was with “the grenade.” When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first.
I was thinkin’ heavy fire and I didn’t wear my bulletproof vest and I just don’t know if I’m gonna make it.
Episode 5
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I know us guys are awesome, but, come on girls, at least chip in a little bit.
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Get the f*ck outta here, I just cooked for like two hours.
Everybody should take each side of my plate and walk it to the garbage.
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I'm not touching one dish, because I cooked a crazy meal and she's got the nerve to tell me to clean my plate. You know what? You are excluded from dinner then, from now on you are excluded from the surf n' turf night. You excluded from ravioli night, you excluded from chicken cutlet night.
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No no no no no, we coordinated a feast as you were getting your nail and your hair did today.
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There is definitely a numbers game when it comes to girls. Let's just say, ya know, ten girls have slipped you their number within that particular week. There is a possibility that, like, five or six may not answer. Somebody may pick up but they're busy, but probably on three or four they're probably coming over and I'm going to have to make a decision on which group of girls I want to come over for me and my boy Pauly.
As long as you keep calling there will be success in your numbers game, it's just like anything.
Stephanie is a girl I met at Bamboo, and she's actually a pretty girl that I'm attracted to, to the point where I'd rather do sweet things for you instead of, ya know, just come home and hook-up, it's like a different situation.
Everybody gets stood up, everybody gets hung up on and rejected, I'm not saying I'm not, I'm just saying 9 out of 10 times I'm good wit it.
Episode 6
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G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.
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The kid’s harmless. Vinny knows that I’m pretty much the man of the house and not to push it too far or I’m gonna throw him in my trunk.
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When we’re out on the battlefield, I’m like the first strike. It’s sorta like they send me out, first, like the Navy SEALs.
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There’s one huge grenade launcher, there’s one grenade, and then there’s one cutie.
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I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn’t want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house.
Episode 7
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The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym.
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That girl can shake it. Drop it like it’s hot, girl.
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When there was knockin’ on the door, I was like, this is either the police for me, this is either some lawyer, somebody’s Dad, somebody’s brother…
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You have no game at all. | Vinny: Really? That’s not what your sister said.
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The whole Ronnie and Sam situation may be crumbling as we speak, it’s only a matter of time before she’s gonna pull the eject button.
I like my clothes like my women.. options. | Pauly D: You like your girls like your underwear.. dirty.
Snooki: Can I have a roll please? | The Situation: Don’t worry, you got a couple.
She got kicked out of the club like a piece of trash that she is.
You better grab your girl tight when I’m around, ‘cause I know she’s grillin’ me..
Episode 8
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That hater-juice is best served cold.
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It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.
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(on Ronnie’s victim) Damn, the kid’s sleeping right now. That’s what you get for talking sh*t.
Episode 9
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Big is out & lean is in.
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Hey ma, this is my new girlfriend for the next couple months till I break up with her when summer starts.
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I knew she was 18, that ass does not look 12.
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If a guy doesn’t like you, it’s called f*ck you.
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I ran the house...I did whatever I wanted, I took whatever I wanted & it was my world.
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