Best Jersey Shore MTV Reality TV Show Quotes
Jersey Shore Season 3
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 8:
Some days I’m Uncle Situation, other days I’m Dr. Situation, I’m Chef Situation.. Bang Your Girl Situation… I’m like a pretty deep dude.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 7:
I'm over here tryin' to clean my sneaks, I can't concentrate with all this fighting .. like they're talkin' about f*ckin' relationships and my sneakers are dirty!
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 6:
I hate the ocean, it's all whale sperm. Everybody Google it, because that's why the water is salty, from the f*ckin' whale sperm.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 5:
It doesn't come up "Stripper Pole" on my credit card, right? Cuz my Dad would be like "what the f*ck?!"
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 4:
We got the best of both worlds, we got to hang out with Ronnie while he's with Sam.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 3:
I invented the Kitchin' Ditchin'.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 2:
You only get milk in [your breasts] if you’re like pregnant.. I think.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 3, Episode 1:
Even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a sh*t.. I will f*ckin' attack you like a squirrel monkey.
Jersey Shore Season 2
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2 Finale, Episode 13:
Crocodiles gonna eat me, yeah!
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 12:If you got the phattest gear & no one can come into your atmosphere.. then you’re a part of t-shirt time & you will be until we yell CABS ARE HERE!
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 11:I’m not sure what lobsters eat, but I think they eat like insects or something… so I was gonna feed them worms.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 10:
Standing in one corner, 4 foot 9, 2 inches w/the poof, 'Snooki' Polizzi... standing in the other corner at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 9:SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU DIRTY LITTLE HAMSTER!
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 8:
I went to the doctor he told me you gotta stop drinking, stop doing drugs & stop havin' sex, ya know what I did? I switched f*ckin' doctors!
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 7:OK, Kim Kardashian .. more like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island, you ugly b*tch!
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 6:It’s like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 5:I’m definitely not a saint... if I probably walked through church right now I’d f*ckin’ burst into flames.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 4:You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA… say that 5 times fast.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 3:I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, cuz I'm a f*ckin' Smurf.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 2:My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off & go into the ice cream. This hair ain’t movin’ my dude. 150mph on the highway on a street bike… it doesn’t move! What makes you think it’s gonna move in a gelato shop?
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 2, Episode 1:
I’m putting Vaseline on my face, taking my earrings out, putting my hair up & I’m beating the crap out of her.
Jersey Shore Season 1
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 1:
I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I'm hot.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 2:Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 3:I’m gonna break it down dancing, I love the beats, I got my creepy patent move.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 4:We’re beatin’-up-the-beat, that’s what we say when we’re doing our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we’re banging it as the beat builds ‘cause that beat’s hittin’ us so we’re fightin’ back, it’s like we beat up that beat.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 5:That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that cause they're alive when you kill it.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 6:
G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 7:
How do I taste, bro? How does my d*ck taste, bro? Congratulations on my sloppy seconds.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1, Episode 8:
It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.
Best Quote of Jersey Shore Season 1 Finale, Episode 9:
It's gorilla central out there, get the f*ck up, juice-heads everywhere!
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