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JerseyShoreQuotes.com is where you'll find the best quotes & one-liners from America's #1 guilty pleasure. Click on the Episode Links on the right get to that show's quotes. You can also go right to your favorite cast member's quotes. Make sure you let MTV know that you love the show!
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Jersey Shore Season 2 Premiered July 29th @ 10pm ET
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Top Episode Quotes
Season 2
Best Quote of Season 2, Episode 4:
You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA… say that 5 times fast.
Best Quote of Season 2, Episode 3:
I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, cuz I'm a f*ckin' Smurf.
Best Quote of Season 2, Episode 2:
My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off & go into the ice cream. This hair ain’t movin’ my dude. 150mph on the highway on a street bike… it doesn’t move! What makes you think it’s gonna move in a gelato shop?
Best Quote of Season 2, Episode 1:
I’m putting Vaseline on my face, taking my earrings out, putting my hair up & I’m beating the crap out of her.
Season 1
Best Quote of Season One, Episode One:
I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I'm hot.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Two:
Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Three:
I’m gonna break it down dancing, I love the beats, I got my creepy patent move.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Four:
We’re beatin’-up-the-beat, that’s what we say when we’re doing our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we’re banging it as the beat builds ‘cause that beat’s hittin’ us so we’re fightin’ back, it’s like we beat up that beat.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Five:
That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that cause they're alive when you kill it.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Six:
G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Seven:
How do I taste, bro? How does my d*ck taste, bro? Congratulations on my sloppy seconds.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Eight:
It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.
Best Quote of Season One, Episode Nine | Finale:
It's gorilla central out there, get the f*ck up, juice-heads everywhere!
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